


To Love or To Be Loved

by antisocialhood



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Smut, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Bottom Luke, Bottom Michael, BoyxBoy, Crying, Depressed Luke, Domestic Fluff, Dubious Consent, Emotions, FWB, Feelings, For the most part, Friends With Benefits, Heartbreak, Heartbreaking, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing in the Rain, Lots of Angst, Love, Luke cries a lot, M/M, Mashton, Mashton is one of my OTP's, Michael and Ashton have an interesting frienship, Michael has a green thumb, Muke is one of my OTP's, Original Character(s), Quiet Luke, Realization, Rimming, Romance, She's wonderful, Smut, Top Ashton, Top Michael, Unrequited, Unrequited Love, ashton is kind of controlling, ashton is there for michael, cocky michael, end game so strong, extrovert michael, favours for favours, full on broken, heartbroken!michael, introvert Luke, lots of 1d played during this, luke is broken, luke is emotional, luke is v sub, mashton smut, michael and Ashton are friends, michael is controlling, michael is horrible, more like implied, muke smut, nick is wonderful, not really - Freeform, restless Michael, sexual favours, tell me if I missed any tags, this is the product of a directioner while her heart breaks, took me three days to write this, toy!michael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-20 00:00:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3629103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antisocialhood/pseuds/antisocialhood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke was crying again because that's all he was, another fuck. He'd been trying since Michael said it was nice to come home to him, to figure out what that meant and why Michael kept him around instead of finding someone else. </p>
<p>It bothered him a lot, that was all Michael saw him as. He threw his heart out on his sleeve and Michael didn't even glance at it. </p>
<p>"One last time, Lukey."</p>
<p>And Luke was so weak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> Short note: I'm still doing coffee and mixtapes I just had a meltdown because of Zayn and I needed horrible angst so I paused the other and started this. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy, check out my note at the end too :)
> 
> x

Luke was tired.

His bones ached and his head felt numb and groggy. He laid in bed for hours, snuggled under the thick layer of blankets he'd piled on top of himself earlier that night, and thought about life. About how butterflies knew to flutter their wings to fly, and how people realised things that had always been right in front of their nose. But most of all, he thought about Michael, his his smile was crooked and his eyebrow piercing glimmered in the light thrown across his room by the moon, and about how he laughed at the stupidest things, like Luke's jokes, and the cheesy comedies that weren't even funny. 

He didn't like thinking of Michael in a past tense but he couldn't help himself, the silvery blond boy had packed up his things while Luke was sleeping only nights ago and wrote a sloppily scrawled note about needing time to reevaluate things. 

So now, Luke had no choice but to think about how Michael was, and the things Michael did because as of right now, he didn't have Michael anymore. 

He was restless and Luke knew it. Michael wasn't able to stay in one place for too long, he liked to move around, he wanted to try new things and experience all of the specialties life had to offer. Luke accepted that almost right away, nodding away Michael's worries of their lives drifting apart with promises of always following Michael, no matter how far he went. And maybe that was another reason the silvery blonde boy was on his mind; maybe he was testing Luke, waiting to see if the younger, impressionable boy would follow after him and keep his promise. 

Luke didn't know what Michael expected and his heart ached at that. He wanted to roll over and pick up his phone to see a text from Michael giving him a hint, an acknowledgement, a quick 'I love you' but he tried, god, he tried not to get his hopes up for the words that would never flash across his screen. 

~~~  
Luke was hiding out in the flat, blinds shut and curtains pulled closed. He'd given up waiting for a response to the tons of messages he'd sent a few days earlier and while giving up sounded like a good idea, it didn't feel like one. 

He felt lazy, almost to the point where he couldn't find it in himself to pull his body out of the bed to go to the bathroom or the kitchen for a glass of water. He wondered if this was what heartbreak felt like; slowly drowning in yourself because they've taken away your paddles and love.

The sound of the front door unlocking barely registers in Luke's mind, the kind old woman next door had thought Michael and Luke had gone away because she kept coming over to water the plants in the kitchen, even after she found Luke dry heaving against the kitchen sink and still came over to make sure the plants were fed and Luke had eaten something. They didn't talk about Michael and Luke surmised that his neighbour had added two and two together and figured out what had happened; Luke was silently sulking that she hadn't questioned him but he was also extremely relieved because it hurt and he didn't want to think about the pain he couldn't scratch away. 

"Have you eaten today?" The woman asked, her voice soft and soothing as if talking to a scared child. 

Luke nodded, realising he called her 'the woman' in his head instead of asking her name but he couldn't find it in his body to open his mouth and ask her what had name was. 

She sighed, "alright, Luke, should I come back later?"

Luke shook his head slowly. "What's your name?" He felt shitty asking her that now, after all she had done for him, it felt almost disrespectful. 

"Greta." She replied, opening the door and closing it behind her. 

Luke closed his eyes from his spot at the kitchen table. He sat where Michael used to sit and sometimes he slept on Michael's pillow, but not often because he didn't want to muck up the faint scent of Michael's shampoo with his own, even though the scent had almost fully be erased. 

He wondered if he was really sleeping at night or if he just closed his eyes and thought about the boy he loved that left him in the end. He wanted to say he threw himself into something he loved in order to push past his hurt, that he brushed off the fact that he wasn’t wanted anymore, but he couldn’t, he was unable to lie even to himself, even to pull his body out of the bed and into the world outside the flat. His phone sat untouched on his nightstand, it was no longer plugged in as it had been the first few days. It wasn’t his fault, honestly, he had given up, and the phone had eventually died, but Luke couldn’t find it in his heart to plug it back in and watch the screen stay black for another reason besides lack of power. 

It was silent and he was beginning to question how he hadn't gone crazy yet. While life outside swirled on, Luke stayed cooped up inside, hiding from mirrors and other reflective surfaces, not actually having the thought process to keep away, just doing so. 

He yawned gently, hearing a phone ring outside, probably one of the neighbours, and stood up from Michael's seat at the table, pushing the chair in and padding into the living room. He kept his gaze away from the dusty game consoles surrounding the tv and move towards the bay window facing out into the street. 

Life was indeed going on without him. 

~~~

Luke figured it was time he changed the sheets, his fingers shaking as he pulled the blankets and pillowcases off and tossed them in a pile on the floor. He debated on washing them in Michael's shampoo but decided against it, knowing it wasn't exactly good for the sheets. 

He left the pile on the floor and sat down on the bare mattress, pulling his legs up so he could wrap his arms around them and curl into himself. 

It was so random, the little burst of pain that fluttered through his heart, threatening to spill tears from his dry eyes. He hadn't cried in a few days and he wasn't sure if that was necessarily good; was he dead inside now? He hoped not, that didn't sound like a plausible thing to have happened so quickly. 

He scratched his neck softly, hearing the same phone from earlier ringing again. 'Pick up the damn phone!' He wanted to yell, feeling slightly annoyed at the monotone ringing that was breaking through his silence. But of course he didn't; which left him sighing loudly because he had never been as quiet as he was now and he didn't fully know how to react. 

He blinked rapidly and laid down, the mattress cool beneath his body. His eyes are heavy and feel to be filling with tears. He's crying over a man that left him to go figure life out, and somehow he finds it even more so heartbreaking that he's accepted this sheltered life on hiding in the flat for over a week and leaving his phone off and the landline off of the hook. 

The door creaked open from the family room and the sound of running water is heard, leaving Luke to sigh once again because Greta was going to end up overfeeding the plants and Luke would have to find it in his heart to throw out the wilted grey leaves and vines that he watched drown. He vaguely remembers telling her that she didn't need to come back again today but he can't remember if it actually happened or it was just a dream. 

The sound of a water glass being placed on the empty drain board startles Luke slightly because he swore Greta brought over an old, metal, dented watering can every time she came over, but realises that she could've grabbed a glass of water for herself before drowning the plants a bit more. 

"Greta." Luke begins sitting up from the bed, his voice soft and low, sounding utterly and desperately weak. He's going to ask her to please only feed the plants once a day, to please not make him throw out the plants that will die like his relationship did. 

He shuffles through the rooms, following the brightness from the kitchen lights that Luke hadn't turned on in three days. The first thing he sees when he reaches the kitchen is a blue jacket slung over the back of his chair at the table; it's denim and scruffy and makes Luke want to tear up again. He can hear the soft curses of someone who wasn't pleased with what they found and Luke really wants to cry now because he knows the voice and he knows exactly what they're complaining about. 

"What happened to my radermachera sinica?" Michael whined, playing with the delicate leaves and pulling the dead ones from the potted soil. 

Luke sucked in a deep breath, fighting back his urge to run at the older boy and grip him in a tight hug. Michael was acting as if he'd been at work for the past few weeks, not hiding away from Luke. 

For the first time since Luke spotted Michael did the older boy actually look up, his eyes hooded by angry brows and creases in his forehead. They stare at each other for a few moments, neither saying a word, and Luke is thankful for that because he wasn’t sure if his voice would actually work.

Michael is first to break the silence. “Overfeeding my plants.” He shook his head and glanced back at the plant whose pot is overflowing with water, small white pieces of soil that Luke never understood the point of, were floating around slowly. “You have to be delicate with a china doll, Luke.”

It was then that Luke realised his lower lip was trembling softly and his eyes were brimming with tears. His heart was aching almost as much as when he found the note and realised Michael was gone, and his hands were shaking, maybe his whole body was shaking, he wasn’t sure. He knew when he talked his voice would be weak and shaky, if he could even get it out, but he knew he needed to say something, anything. “You’re back?”

Weak was an understatement; it was as if every broken feeling and thought flowed into his words when he finally muttered the two little words. He didn’t even have it in his body to be embarrassed at the lack of strength he had in his tone or the way his glanced down to hide the fact that tears were sliding from his eyes almost freely and trailing down his cheeks. He brought a shaking hand up to wipe away a few tears that clung to his cheeks, quickly wiping it on the pyjama pants he’d had on, the same pair he’d had on for over a week.

He knew Michael was staring at him, probably judging him for falling apart so quickly and effortlessly, and knowing Michael, he was probably fawning over the idea of someone breaking because of him. 

The sound of water being poured into the sink caused Luke to look up. He watched Michael dump some of the water from his precious plant into the basin and pat the damp soil with a few crumpled up paper towels before placing it back on the windowsill. His lower lip trembled again and he bit down on it softly to stop it because wow, Michael had been back for ten minutes at most and wasn’t even paying attention to the boy he left behind.

“Are you staying?” Luke asked softly, drawing Michaels attention to him.

The older boy shrugged, wiping his hands on the kitchen rag laid out on the counter. He looked Luke in the eye, his face expressionless and pale. Luke drank him in, the way his t-shirt was clinging to his shoulders making him look almost as broad as Luke was, how his jeans were tight enough to show off his legs but loose enough that he looked effortlessly zen, but his hair, that’s where Luke struggled most not to stare. The once silvery blonde strands were now brown and messy, tickling along the curve of Michael’s forehead and small curls that Luke really wanted to play with sat at the base of his neck, and Luke realised that brown hair suited Michael exceptionally. 

“Oh,” Luke mumbled even softer than before. He curled his hands up into small fists, wanting nothing more than to tangle his fingers in a sweater or long sleeved shirt and make sweater paws so he could hide the trembling fingers, but he was wearing a short sleeved shirt that was slightly rumpled from his recent daily laying around and instead twisted his fingers together behind his back and played with the hem of his fuzzy pyjama pants.  
Confrontation was never one of Lukes strong suits, one of the reasons Michael left so easily, he didn’t have to fear fighting with Luke after he came back, the younger boy just took it all, bottled it up inside and let Michael keep rolling, but today, something in Luke snapped, maybe it was the hurt he felt or the way Michael just watched him, he wasn’t sure, but something inside of him was fed up.

“I don’t think I can deal with this anymore.” Luke whispered, turning away from Michael, fresh tears filling his eyes. “You... This needs to stop.”

He shuffled through the flat to his room, slightly proud of himself. While he hadn’t exactly confronted Michael he had done something, and that was enough for him.

~~~

Luke could hear Michael moving around throughout the flat and he wondered what the now brunette was doing but he couldn’t bring himself to get up from the unmade bed. He swallowed loudly and snuggled deeper into the mattress, feeling like a child being punished even though he was the one choosing to stay in the bedroom alone. He suspected it was because his mind was struggling to process that Michael was back and his heart was threatening to break in half because the brunette wasn’t giving an inch while Luke was throwing a rope to the moon in hopes of pulling Michael back to him.

He heard the front door slam shut and silence throughout the flat. He debated getting out of bed to go inspect but his mind kept repeating ‘no’ so Luke stayed curled up for hours until his bladder threatened and he wrenched himself up from his cozy cocoon and sleepily padded to the bathroom.

Michael’s jacket was still on his chair as Luke looked around. He grabbed the denim article of clothing and took it with him, tossing it on the sink before doing his business. He made his way back to his room, jacket tucked under his arm. The scent of Michael was all over it and Luke wanted to sob because he was literally dying to snuggle into the rough fabric and fall asleep.

~~~

“I love you so much.” Luke argued as Michael shook his head, leaning back in his chair.

Somehow the older boy had coerced Luke out of his bed, and led him to the kitchen where Michael calmly stated that he didn't understand what Luke meant by 'this needs to stop' and needed clarification. So Luke clarified and Michael decided he didn't like how Luke was growing a backbone and putting down his foot, which led to a huge argument, mostly done by Luke who was trying to convince Michael that he did love the older boy, he just couldn't deal with him leaving when he figured he needed time. 

Michael stood up, facing Luke. "It's obvious you don't care about me if you just want to chain me down and keep me as your pet."

This was the exact reason Luke didn't like confrontations and arguments, somehow the blame game got started and someone ended up hurt, he knew it would be him too. 

"I don't want you as my pet Michael, I want you to fucking respect me and my feelings!" Luke slammed his fist down on the table in anger, not stopping to realise he was yelling and cursing, something he almost never did. 

Michael looked surprised, his eyes blown wide and his mouth partially open. He gaped like a fish a few times, clearly at loss for words. 

Luke ran his hand through his hair, ignoring the slight greasiness he felt and glared at Michael. He figured that he'd started so he'd might as well finish too. "I'm so sick of you just coming and going whenever you please! I can't sit back and wait for you forever, Michael. You leave me here to deal with the fact that you will never love me as much as I love you and holy crap, that hurts to have to figure out. You don't want to be my pet but I don't want to be your toy yet that's what you make me out to be and I really can't take it anymore, wasting my love on you isn't worth the hurt I feel when I wake up to a measly note and deal with being alone for a week because I'm not good enough for you." He wanted to turn and exit the room, make a huge exit and leave Michael in the dust but he couldn't. 

It was silent before Michael sighed, shaking his head while a small smile played at his lips. "I'll leave then."

"That's all you ever do!" Luke threw his hands up in the air, exasperated beyond belief. He felt a fresh wave of tears warming his eyes and he sighed, wiping at them roughly with his bare arm, a sniffle escaping him. 

"For good." Michael shifted on his feet, his eyes boring into Luke's with what looked like annoyance and anger. 

Luke closed his eyes, stifling a sob. "Then go, leave, see if I care!" 

He cared, a lot, and they both knew it. 

Michael shook his head in amusement and reached over to caress Luke's cheek. The younger boy leaned into the touch automatically, his body so used to the soft touches Michael left on it. 

"I know you love me." Michael said running his fingers along Luke's jawbone and down his throat to his collarbone. 

Luke croaked out a response. "Then why would you do this?"

He wanted to yell at his body for betraying him. He didn't want to lean into Michael's touch, he wanted to push him away and scream threats and curses, anything to get some sort of gut reaction from the brunette. 

Michael shrugged, playing around with Luke's shoulders now. He looked fascinated and Luke wondered if Michael was on something. The way he continued to change attitudes and still remained expressionless worried the blonde boy, he felt another sob crawl up his vocal cords and he choked it out causing Michael to pull away quickly.

"You're nice to come home to." 

Luke wanted to scream, was that it? He was nice to come home to? He wasn't a dog, he was a person with feeling and Michael kept him around so he would have someone at home.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" There he went again, cursing loudly and clenching his fists tightly. "Are you actually serious?"

Michael once again looked surprised at Luke's dropping but gave a halfhearted shrug. 

"You're a real piece of work, Michael." He was crying again, the tears rolling down his face slowly. Luke wanted to storm out of the kitchen again but Michael grabbed his arm tightly and pulled him forward a bit, his grip aggressive and harsh. 

"I'm leaving." He stated, grinding his teeth down so the words were almost broken syllable but syllable. 

Luke's heart squeezed at Michael's words and he questioned if he should've kept his mouth shut and left it alone, let Michael continue doing what he felt. 

~~~

Michael didn't leave like he'd said he would. He stayed in the kitchen for the most part that night, probably aware that Luke was in the bedroom and chances of him coming out were slim to none. 

It was better in Luke's mind, the fact that Michael had stated that he was going for good rather than leaving a note and appearing a few weeks later like nothing happened. He wanted to be happy, honestly, he did, but he couldn't find it in him because the man he loved left him without a second glance and it made him feel utterly broken and defenceless. 

He made the bed slowly, taking time to tuck the blankets in under the mattress and fluff the pillows properly before falling into the cotton material and hiding under the covers. 

He heard the door open and his heart squeezed again. There was rustling and Luke figured Michael was getting clothes together. "Are you leaving tonight?" He knew his voice was muffled but he wanted to know, even though he shouldn't have, he needed to. 

"No, probably tomorrow morning." Michael responded closing a drawer lightly. 

Luke was silent, burying his face into his pillow and inhaling the scent of detergent. The bed dipped beside him as Michael crawled in; Luke made sure to keep to his side, his back stiff and face probably red and covered in tear tracks. He forgot the last time he cried this hard, probably when he was a kid and got hurt, he didn't know and he didn't want to think about it. 

"It's cold." Michael commented, turning the bedside lamp off and burrowing down under the blankets. 

Luke agreed but kept quiet. He tried not to cry when Michael's hands snaked around his waist and pulled him close. He hasn't wanted Michael in the bed, he needed time to assess the damage in his heart and with the now brunette next to him and his hands on his waist, Luke was positive he would probably start crying any moment. He did realise though that with Michael sleeping beside him would give him a longer time with a pillow that smelled like the older boy and Luke cringed at how his heartbeat picked up a bit. 

"I'm so cold." Michael's breath was warm against Luke's ear. 

Luke squirmed slightly, pulling himself from Michael's grasp. He stumbled from the bed, his eyes bloodshot and wide and pulled himself to the bathroom where he closed the door and slid down on the floor, his head in his hands. 

~~~  
It was pathetic how Luke had to swallow two sleeping pills and crawl back into a warm bed with a man who didn't love him. He felt Michael's hands connect to his waist once again and pull him back against him, but he knew Michael was doing it for body heat because the brunette s fingers were cold against the skin of Luke's hipbone where his shirt had ridden up some. 

He allowed Michael to curl into him as his eyes fell shut, he did though, feel Michael's lips brushing against his pulse point and he questioned if he was dreaming already. 

"I love when we mess around after I come back." Michael murmured into Luke's throat softly, the vibrations of his words tickling Luke. "I love how needy and raw it is."

Luke sighed under his lips but pushed him away. He was weak when it came to Michael, anyone could see that, including Michael himself. 

"You're going to push me away for good without one last fuck?"

Luke was crying again because that's all he was, another fuck. He'd been trying since Michael said it was nice to come home to him, to figure out what that meant and why Michael kept him around instead of finding someone else. 

It bothered him a lot, that was all Michael saw him as. He threw his heart out on his sleeve and Michael didn't even glance at it. 

"One last time, Lukey."

And Luke was so weak.

He didn't protest when Michael attached his lips to Luke's neck again or when his shirt was pulled up over his head and thrown into the darkness of the room. Hands skittered over his body and all he could do was cry and whimper because he was Michael's toy no matter how hard he yelled and cursed that was all he would ever be and as long as Michael wanted him, Luke would give himself because he wanted Michael happy more than he wanted his own happiness. 

"Please stop crying." Michael said at one point, his voice soft and caring, startling Luke more than it should've. 

So Luke did, he wiped his tears away as Michael pushed him onto his hands and knees and spread his cheeks slowly. There was nothing gentle about the way Michael handled him, how he pushed his fingers into Luke with barely any lube or warning and fucked up into him until Luke was panting needily and crying again. Michael was forceful and brash, torturing his body raw and not giving a single flying fuck the while. 

Luke wanted to stop crying, he wanted to embrace the fact that Michael needed him to satisfy his needs, that Michael chose to go back to him instead of finding someone else, but he couldn't, all he could focus on was how Michael's hands gripped his thighs as he pushed into Luke harshly, leaving the blonde whimpering out at the intrusion. 

"Every time feels like the first." Michael groaned out, snapping his hips to Luke's erratically. 

Luke started crying again, harder this time as Michael thrusted, filling Luke to the brim. He could hear Michael panting and begging him to stop crying but he couldn't listen, he didn't want to listen. "Did you ever even love me?"

He doesn't know how he chokes out the words while Michael's cock is buried inside of him but he's proud he did so because Michael's grip lessened and he started thrusting slower, easing his way into Luke's body who was relaxing into the mattress, his body sinking down as Michael pushed in once again and stopped. Luke could feel everything all at once and it left him with his back arched and his nose scrunched up, mouth open with tiny words streaming from his parted lips. 

"No." Michael finally responds to Luke, who's barely paying attention now. He snaps forward again, breaking the mini trance Luke was in, his cock was pushing at every inch of Luke, knocking the breath out of him and making him gasp back a sob. 

Luke slowly comprehends what Michael's response was and he whines loudly, probably making Michael think he's enjoying it. He's crying even harder now, barely able to breath as his hips are pulled back roughly and his body is suddenly jolted forward from each and every sloppy thrust Michael gives. 

"Stop." Luke sobs, trying to grasp at the sheets in order to pull himself from beneath Michael. He knows Michael can't hear him and he knows he doesn't really want to stop, but he knows what's best for himself and he's fully aware Michael isn't it. 

Michael pulled out of Luke who slumped down on the bed, sobs racking his body. He can feel the brunettes body slipping from the bed and the sound of the bedroom door closing is loud, clearly stating for Luke that Michael isn't happy, but then again, neither is Luke. 

He hears the door open a few minutes later and Michael's sliding back under the covers next to him. He moved away from Michael, making sure to give him room but Michael's hands slowly and tentatively moved to grip Luke's waist again.

"I'm sorry."

He didn't sound sorry but Luke couldn't find it in his bones to care. Luke sighed softly as Michael moved to rest his head in the curve of Luke's neck. He breathed softly, trying not to push Michael's face around. Before he realised it, he was asleep, Michael's arms wrapped around his waist and his face buried in Luke's neck. 

When Michael woke up the next morning he wasn't greeted by the messy blonde hair that was usually situated in front of him, instead the pillow was empty, only an indent left from where Luke's head had been. He stumbled from the bed, rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn. 

The kitchen was bright and cheery but Michael didn't feel the same. There was a post-it-note stuck to the kitchen table "see you around, x" and Michael had to chuckle because the tables had turned and he was willing to play the game if Luke was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke rubbed off on Michael a lot more than he'd like to admit.

There was a fine line between missing someone and pining after them because they were gone.

Michael had left the flat hours after Luke and when he returned he found a for sale sign in the bay window and his heart sank. It was in that moment he felt completely and utterly like shit, it had never occurred to him that Luke would go as far as selling their home, well, Luke's home where Michael occasionally lived, and he was angry because seriously? Was this really how Luke wanted to play?

Michael went into the flat and gathered his things, taking note that a majority of Luke's things were already gone. He thought while he packed his belongings; where could he go now? He couldn't go home, his mother would kill him when she found out what he did to Luke. There was one option left and Michael really didn't want it to come to that but he knew he had no other choices, he grabbed his phone from the kitchen counter and dialled the number he'd sworn he'd never call again.

"Michael?" The voice was chirpy and loud, and Michael couldn't help but smile.

"Hey, Ash, I need a favour."  
~~~  
Michael hadn't spoken to Ashton in over two years and for the first time in his life he was regretting it.

The older man had chuckled when Michael said he needed a favour but was quick to oblige, telling the brunet that whatever he needed could be arranged.

Perhaps that was the tricky part of Michael and Ashton's friendship; Ashton's undying need to help the younger boy out, for a price, of course and Michael’s seemingly cooperation to his demands.

He sat on the front stoop waiting for Ashton to roll up in his car; it was times like these that Michael almost regretted pushing the people that cared about him away. All of his belongings were still up in the flat and he honestly wasn’t looking forward to the numerous treks he’d have to make down the stairs to bring his crap to Ashton’s car because he knew Ashton wouldn’t help.

“You gonna sit there all day?” Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

Michael chuckled softly, pulled from his thoughts. He looked up to see Ashton leaning over the centre console, his head almost out of the passenger window. He looked good, really good; his hair was still the golden brown curls Michael remembered and his smile was still bright and cheerful, and Michael couldn't help but smile at his old friend, thankful he had someone to rely on.

~~~  
Michael was on his knees, his eyes wide and innocent, hands clasped behind his back as he waited for Ashton to stop staring at him and finally take his pants off so Michael could suck him off. 

"You're so pretty, Mikey." Ashton cooed, stroking Michael's cheek softly, his other hand knotted tightly in Michael's brown hair. 

Michael smiled at Ashton's words. 

That was their relationship, their... friendship. Michael would go to Ashton needing a something and Ashton would make sure he got what he wanted, and then, Ashton would get what he wanted; Michael would be his toy for a few hours and they would be considered even. 

Michael blames himself for letting the trade off start, but he couldn't find it in his body to say no, then or now. He easily could have pushed Ashton off the first time and said no dice but instead he let Ashton shove him to his knees and choke him on his cock. 

But Michael liked it, and as he thought it about it he realised that maybe that was why he kept coming back every time he needed something and couldn't get it himself; Ashton would get it done and Michael would get rough, dirty sex. 

Luke didn't give Michael the rush Ashton did, but Michael had never tried. He made Luke bottom, all the time, and maybe that was another flaw, maybe he should've tried something new but the thought of little blonde Lukey that sulked when Michael ran away and cried over everything topping the shit out of Michael was almost cringe worthy. 

But Michael still missed him, as much as he didn't want to admit it, or even feel it.

~~~  
Ashton drove too slowly for Michael's taste and while it was nice when he was giving road head because Michael really didn't want to impale his throat on Ashton's thick cock, but otherwise, his driving wasn't up to par and Michael was quick to let him know. 

"I need to borrow the car." Michael was underneath of Ashton and they were both panting; Ashton was still inside of Michael who had pleaded for almost twenty minutes for another round that Ashton just wasn't quite ready for. 

"Why?" Ashton sounded bored and tired. He propped himself up on his elbows and stared at Michael, eyebrows knit in question.

Michael shrugged, wrapping his legs around the older boys waist and shifting his hips slightly. He watched Ashton close his eyes and bit his lip, fully aware of the effect he had on the curly haired blond. "I just do, please?"

And Ashton was nodding slowly, lazily moving his head so that he was able to mouth at the skin of Michael's throat. "Bring it back in one piece or I'll have to kill you."

Michael sighed lowly as Ashton began thrusting into him; this was what he craved, and this was what Ashton gave.

~~~

Michael sat on the front step of Ashton's house as the older boy stumbled around the garden, mussing up the plants growing in the flower beds.

"You could help, ya know?" Ashton had thrown multiple remarks at Michael pertaining to the plant life and his lack of a green thumb. 

Michael stared at Ashton. "Why do you have plants if you can't take care of them?" He stood up and moved to where the curly haired man was plucking off the dead flower heads and tossing them into the wastebasket he had dragged from around back. 

He wondered if Ashton overfed plants like Luke did and decided he didn't want to find out. 

"Please don't touch my radermachera sinica." 

Ashton scoffed but promised to keep away from the flowering green houseplant perched on the windowsill in the study. 

"What did you need the car for?" Ashton plucked off another head and tossed it at Michael who frowned and picked it up, playing with the wilted ends. "Or do you not want to talk about it."

Another thing about Ashton that Michael liked was that he asked a lot of questions but didn't demand answers, and for that Michael was glad. 

"I'm not really..." He trailed off and shuffled some leaves around. Ashton clearly understood as he stood up and patted Michael's hair gently.

"That's alright." 

Michael thought of Luke who would always respond in the same way; never pushing for answers and always taking whatever excuse Michael gave. It made the brunet miss the sulky blond a bit more than he would've liked to. 

Thankfully, Ashton never brought Luke up in conversation; having previously been satisfied when Michael told him minor bits over the phone. 

"Do you want to go out tonight?" Ashton was dusting his hands off of dirt and looking at the sky. 

Michael nodded when Ashton glanced down at him. He hadn't been out in a while and although he would've rather stayed in and caught up on sleep, he knew that he needed to go out and live a bit. 

He watched Ashton go into the house with the promise of bringing out some bottles of water. Michael wondered if he was depressed; he wasn't a doctor and he wasn't sure how to unofficially diagnose himself but he was almost positive he was depressed, it just took Luke leaving to make him realise. He felt sick to his stomach but blamed it on the heat, because blaming it on his feelings and regrets would be pathetic and Michael wasn't ready for that yet. 

~~~  
Michael drank in moderation while Ashton drank like a man facing death row the next day. Of course, this was nothing new and Ashton was completely capable of handling himself and his liquor, but still, seeing the curly haired man bouncing around wildly and giggling was almost surreal to Michael who was so used to low-key everything. 

He blamed Luke and then wanted to pinch himself for letting his thoughts always slid back to the blond boy. 

"Do you want to leave? You don't look like you're having much fun?"

Michael was surprised that Ashton had noticed, but shook his head, playing with the fraying edge of his denim jacket. It smelled faintly of Luke and Michael was sort of planning to never wash the jacket in hopes of never losing the scent. 

"I'm fine, we can stay." 

Ashton smiled and kissed Michael's cheek softly. "He rubbed off on you, ya know."

Michael sighed and looked down at the club floor, not wanting to have this conversation. "I know." Was all he said and Ashton took the hint.

His fingers itched for something but he didn't know what, and that worried him. 

"Actually, on second thought, can we go back?" Michael glanced up at Ashton shyly, hoping the older man wouldn't be upset with him. 

Ashton agreed amicably, and the two quickly left the club; Michael prying the keys from the back pocket of Ashton's jeans. 

~~~  
Why brown?"

Ashton was playing with Michael's hair, his fingers twirling through the messy strands. 

They were curled up in Ashton's bed, sheets tangled around them and Ashton's arm wrapped tightly around Michael's waist. 

Michael thought about the question. He hadn't really thought about it before, he had just picked up a box of colour and decided it would be his next shade. 

"Thought it would be something different." He spoke softly, feeling his eyelids sliding shut slowly. He blinked quickly in attempts of staying awake. 

Ashton hummed in response, the vibrations of his chest rumbling along Michael's back. 

"Have you talked to him?"

Michael shook his head, knowing fully well who Ashton was referring to. 

"Are you sad?" Ashton asked softly, his fingertips playing along Michael's hipbone. 

And Michael nodded, his lower lip quivering slightly. No one had ever asked him that before, and now that Ashton had, Michael felt like all of his walls were crumbling down. He was sad, very very sad, and Luke was the reason. 

The game that was to take place between Luke and Michael wasn't going to happen, there wasn't a game at all, there were feelings and people and everything was messed up far more than Michael had foresaw. 

~~~  
He was holding hands with another man and Michael felt his whole world fall apart. 

It was inevitable that they'd cross paths one day and while Michael prayed it wasn't for a long time, he knew it was bound to happen, but not this soon.

Luke was at an ice cream stand, holding hands with a tall boy with black curls and large hands. He looked happy, his smile reached his eyes which were bright and blue; something Michael hadn't seen in a long time. His hair was doing its usual 'fight the quiff' thing, looking naturally messy as it stood partially up while curling some. He didn't look tired, he looked alive and happy, and something inside of Michael was screaming in pain.

Michael was quick to move away from the blond and his companion. He didn't make eye contact and he kept his head low, the hood of his sweatshirt up over his brown hair, hopefully concealing him from the happy couple. 

He called Ashton, thankful the older man was never one to let his phone ring more than three times before answering.

"Please pick me up." Michael's voice cracked twice and he knew Ashton was rushing for the car as he heard the keys jingling and the door slamming shut.

"Where are you?"

Michael squeaked out his location and sat down on the curb in the steer, his elbows on his knees as he waited. He didn't dare look over in the direction of Luke, he was afraid of what he might've seen. 

It took Ashton ten minutes to get there-and the second he pulled up and got out of the car Michael was in his arms begging him to take him home. 

"Stop, Michael, please shut up." Ashton was trying to calm the younger boy down. "He's just a boy, Michael, nothing more."

And Michael wanted to agree, he wanted to nod his head and stop fretting over such a frivolous thing but he couldn't. "I love him."

"No you don't." Ashton argued as the both got into the car. "You love the idea of him, but you don't love him."

Michael wanted to defend himself, defend his love but instead he stayed quiet because Ashton was usually right about these things and Michael didn't want to argue. 

~~~  
"Put your damn pants on, Michael." Ashton was straightening up the room when Michael decided it was time to pay up for calling in a favour.

"But.." 

Ashton shook his head. "You're my friend, you're supposed to call me when you need me, I can't expect you to do something for me when I was trying to be a good friend."

So Michael pulled his pants up and moved towards Ashton. "I want to be a good friend." He played with the top of Ashton's pants gently.

Ashton pushed his hands away for the first time ever and shook his head again. "You are a good friend."

Michael couldn't disagree more.

~~~  
"I miss you." Michael made a pitiful noise into the phone. He had called Luke twenty minutes earlier and when the younger boy hadn't picked up, he began to leave voicemails.

"I think I love you. Ashton says I don't, but I think I do." He rambled on, pausing only to catch his breath. "I saw you Tuesday, you were with another man."

He hung up and stared at the phone for a few minutes, unhappily.

It didn't ring or blink on with a fresh message, not that he'd been expecting it to. 

Michael wondered if this was what Luke felt like when he disappeared in the mornings. Waiting for the phone call that never would happen, sitting around and feeling like utter shit, realising that your love was a waste. It was pitiful and he felt horrible for putting Luke through that but he couldn't apologise to a voicemail and hope Luke would listen to it. 

Ashton left Michael alone for a few hours and Michael didn't know how he felt about that. He knew he was getting clingy and it was new for him, but Ashton didn't seem to mind it much. 

The older boy was on the phone a lot, always answering in the middle of the night when Michael was curled into him trying to sleep. Michael didn't mind the constant calls though, he liked them; they were usually long and when Ashton was done he would play with Michael's hair, sometimes even during the middle of the calls, and smile at the brunet in a teasing way. 

"The phones for you." Ashton was holding the house phone in his hand and Michael wondered who it was; he didn't give Ashton's number out to just anyone.

"Hello?" Michael said as Ashton walked out of the room, giving him privacy for the call. 

"Is your radermachera sinica still alive?" 

Michael's heart beat a bit faster. "Yes, it doesn't seem to be satisfied with the amount of sunlight it gets here but it'll have more soon."

Luke hummed in response and Michael swore he was going to cry. "So, is it true?"

"Is what true?" His voice sounded thick and scratchy.

"You bought our flat." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. 

Michael sighed lowly, the realtor had promised no names. "Yes, I bought it."

He wasn't sure what Luke was getting at but he was positive he wouldn't let Luke hang up angrily or leaving Michael in tears. 

"Why?" Luke's voice was soft, almost delicate. He didn't sound as confident and strong as before. 

"I love you." Was all Michael said. He knew it wasn't the response that Luke had been asking for but he was too busy reeling in the fact that he was able to talk to the blond boy again.

There was a soft gasp from the other end and the sound of the dial tone rang out over the line. 

Michael sighed softly, dropping the phone onto the bed and burying his face in his hands. That wasn't the response he had been hoping for, but it was the one he deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was considerably shorter than the first chapter, but i thought it was cute. It's also 1:30am and I'm incapable of thinking anymore and my thoughts are pretty much haywire so. 
> 
> Michael's POV was literally a last minute decision and I'm not sure but I think the rest of the story will be his perspective, i don't know, we'll see. 
> 
> Anyway, please let me know what you think!
> 
> I love your comments, especially ones that have ideas for future chapters. So feel free to comment anything and everything :)
> 
> Does anyone else feel bad for Michael or is everyone made that he was being an asshole to Luke? How about Ashton; how do you feel about him and Michael?
> 
> That was literally just a quick idea and I don't know how I feel about it :P
> 
> Anywho, kudos and comments are appreciated. 
> 
> I love you all very much and will try to update soon. 
> 
> Happy April,
> 
> much love,
> 
> x


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael's a bit more broken than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Team lets make this more angsty and lame for the win. 
> 
> This was a really hard chapter to write because I have really mixed feelings about Michael even though I made him the way he is; oops. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy though, read my note at the end if you want :)

"Why are your hands always cold?" Ashton rubbed his hands over Michael's attempting to warm them.

They were sitting on the porch on the back of Ashton's house watching the stars. Michael had curled up on the love seat in a blanket earlier that night and Ashton had eventually finished what he was doing and moved to sit with the brunet. 

"It's cold out." Michael replied softly, his head on the armrest of the seat. He was cold and tired; tired of thinking about how Luke felt and how he put the blond boy through these exact feelings, he wanted to apologise and move on but Luke was with someone else, so quickly too that Michael didn't even have time to comprehend what was going on. 

Ashton huffed softly under his breath and pulled Michael's feet onto his lap. 

The younger boy stretched out some and curled up again, wanting Ashton's fingers in his hair. He voiced his opinion and Ashton was quick to tangle his long fingers in Michael's brown mess of hair.

"You're a lot quieter than you used to be." Ashton comments after a while. His fingers were threaded through Michael's hair, gently massaging at his scalp. 

Michael thought about that. He was quieter; he wasn't as playful as before, he wanted someone to play with his hair and cuddle and just make time for him. It didn't bother him though; he liked how he could curl up like a kitten and people would give him affection, namely Ashton. "Is that bad?" He didn't think it was but he wanted Ashton's opinion.

The older man was silent, probably thinking his answer over. "No, it's different. Makes me worry a bit, about what went down between the two of you that's left you so needy."

"I was a shit boyfriend."

Ashton chuckled humorously, his fingers dancing on Michael's neck now. "I doubt that." 

Silence settled over the two and Michael closed his eyes. His heart was beating softly but it ached and he didn't like it. He wanted to scream his past away, he wanted Luke to appear from the darkness and proclaim his undying love for the him and sweep him off of his feet.

"Stop thinking so much, you're going to give yourself a stroke." Ashton pressed a kiss to Michael's temple and shifted his feet onto the cushioned seat when he got up. "I'm going to bed."

Michael nodded.

"Don't stay up too late and don't sleep out here, you'll freeze." Ashton was so caring, it reminded Michael of Luke; who made sure Michael's phone was charged and he ate healthy things and didn't spend numerous hours diddling his thumbs in a video game. Ashton brushed the blanket over Michael's feet and tucked it in around his face.

Michael lifted his head and smiled lazily at Ashton. He was grateful to have a friend like him, even though they had an agreement that most friends didn't, Michael was thankful he had someone. 

The older man disappeared inside the house, closing the door behind him with a soft click. Michael blinked a few times and stared at the sky; he wished for a shooting star so he could wish all of his troubles away but none came; he didn't really mind that much though.

~~~

Ashton was asleep when Michael finally went in. He made sure to leave a light on for when the brunet boy came in and Michael was secretly glad, he hadn't wanted to stumble around, bumping into things until he found his way to the bedroom without turning a light on. 

Michael stood in the doorway of the room staring in.

He wanted to cry. This wasn't how his life was supposed to go, he was supposed to be at home in the flat he and Luke shared with Luke curled up into him, maybe they'd be talking or maybe just sleeping, he didn't care, but that was what his life was supposed to hold. Not him sharing a bed with his best friend because he destroyed the only man that had ever worked his ass off for Michael's love.

Maybe that was the problem, maybe Michael had burned his bridges the second he told Luke he had never loved him. 

Michael was irrational at times, clearly, and he obviously didn't think before he spoke or acted. He always had been and always would be, and that hurt others around him, not that he could do anything about it. 

~~~

He was dialling Luke's number and it was close to three in the morning. The phone rang four times before Luke's groggy voice answered with a soft "hello?"

"Do you love him?" Michael asked, hearing sheets ruffling across the line. 

Luke was silent and Michael was close to tears; the blondes silence could only mean one thing and Michael wasn't ready to embrace it. 

"I like him a lot." Luke whispered. His voice was soft and low; he sounded tired and like he too was close to crying. "He treats me well."

Michael bit his lip and nodded, not caring that Luke couldn't see his action. "I'm sorry." He didn't know if he should go into detail about what he was exactly sorry for because honestly, he regretted it all, everything that had gone down, been said, and not been said. 

"It's alright." Luke replied.

But it wasn't alright. Nothing was alright. 

"No it's not, Luke." It was the first time Michael had said his name aloud since he'd last seen Luke at the flat. "I love you and I miss you, and god, how did you do it?"

"How did I do what?" Luke's voice was small, close to a whimper.

Michael brushed at his eyes. "How did you survive loving someone and not knowing if they loved you back?"

It was silent and Michael wondered if Luke hung up again, he wouldn't blame the younger boy for doing so.

"I waited for this."

And oh, Michael understood. He waited for a call, something that would signify an acknowledgment of saying 'hey, I'm alive and I want you to know because I love you as I know you care' and Michael was understanding slowly that Luke lived off of waiting and hoping and being exceptionally patient because he loved Michael to the point where he would have waited until the end of time if that was what it took and now Michael was in his shoes and realising that he would wait as long as needed if that meant Luke would be his again.

"I love you." Michael mumbled, blinking slowly as he leaned against the wall. 

Luke made a slight scoffing noise. "I love you, Michael, you love coming home to me." 

Michael didn't bother arguing because Luke hung up for the second time that week. 

He didn't realise he was crying until he wiped at his eyes and felt the wetness on his hand. He gave a humourless chuckle and stood up, making sure to plug his phone in before he went up to bed.

~~~

"I'm moving back into the flat." Michael remarked over his breakfast of frosted flakes and toast.

Ashton out down the paper he was reading and lowered his glasses. He looked older when he wore the big frames but Michael liked the look, it suited the older man. "So that's where you were?"

Michael nodded, biting his spoon. 

"Alright, do you need help?" 

Michael nodded again, surprised at Ashton's will to help.

~~~

It was quiet in the flat, the sky outside was turning an angry grey and clouds were swirling slowly. Michael almost regretted leaving Ashton's, he didn't like storms and was all alone.

When the thunder started Michael was quick to dive under the blankets messily thrown on the bed and hide in the darkness. 

His phone buzzed from the nightstand and he stuck his hand out to snatch it up, pulling it back under the covers. 

'Just breath, it'll be over before you know it.'

As usual, Ashton was there to guide Michael through the tough times.

Another clap of thunder sounded and Michael panicked again, so much for breathing. 

~~~

"Are you alright?" 

It was raining hard and his phone had had been ringing nonstop for at least ten minutes before he picked it up.

"No." 

Luke sighed and Michael could picture him running his long fingers through his blond hair, ruffling it up. "I'll be over in a few minutes."

Michael wondered where Luke was that he would be able to get there so quickly. 

Sure enough, not even five minutes later someone was knocking at the door and only moments later the bed was dipping down and arms were wrapping around Michael's blanket covered body. The arms were different than he'd felt around him for the last few weeks but he wasn't complaining, he liked these arms just as much.

"Thank you."

Michael wondered when he'd became such a baby, needing affection and attention from everyone. He let the body pull him close and hold him; he liked the warmth radiating from their body and the soft scent of Irish spring soap that tickled his nose. 

Luke murmured something beneath his breath that Michael couldn't catch. 

~~~

It rained throughout the night, the droplets pounding on the building rapidly. Michael didn't get much sleep, he never had when there'd been a storm, even if Luke's arms were around him. 

"You should sleep." Luke remarked quietly, his mouth close to Michael's ear. Michael missed this, how they would snuggle up and whisper, and he thought it was pitiful how he didn't miss any of it until it was gone. 

"I could say the same for you." Michael's voice was screaming 'I'm sorry' throughout the tone and he hoped Luke heard it. 

They were silent, both listening to the downpour outside. Michael's fingers and toes were cold so he snuggled tighter into a ball, his body curling even more in Luke's and neither boy seemed to mind.

~~~

Michael woke up when the sun was just peeking over the horizon, allowing bright orange light to filter through the sheer covered windows. Luke was still spooning him, their bodies melting together, something Michael missed dearly. Luke's arm was loose around his waist so Michael shifted, flipping over so that he was facing the younger boy. 

Luke's eyes were closed and Michael could see the teeny veins in his eyelids, he could count the stubble on Luke's chin and he laughed to himself because Luke looked even younger when he was asleep.

Michael laid like that for a few hours, unable to fall asleep and completely immersed in how delicate Luke looked when he was sleeping. He wondered if this was how Luke felt when he woke up next to Michael, their bodies intertwined and warm; completely in love and satisfied with the small touches throughout the night and day. Michael was satisfied right now and he wasn't really willing to let that disappear. 

"I can feel you staring." Luke spoke softly, his voice groggy and deep, and Michael was falling head over heals in love even more than he already was. 

Luke's eyes fluttered open slowly; his bright blue eyes searching over Michael's face a few times before he settled on staring into the older boys eyes. 

"I miss this." Luke says, rubbing his eye gently. He yawns, tightening the arm around Michael's waist. "How's your plant?"

Michael doesn't reply to Luke's first words, he knows the blond is aware of how much Michael misses it all. "Ashton didn't kill it, so it's doing pretty good."

Luke is frowning and Michael knows why. He knew of Ashton and Michael's predicament and was not, at all, okay with it. 

"Ashton?" 

Michael nodded. He had nowhere else to go and Ashton was there for him, Luke couldn't care that much. 

"Did you...?" Luke trailed off, looking mildly uncomfortable. 

Michael nodded again and buried his face in the pillow, hearing Luke huff loudly. He squirmed around a bit but Luke's arms never left his waist. 

"Oh." 

He sounded disappointed and Michael's heart clenched. The brunet peered up at the blond with wide green eyes; he wasn't sure what to say, in all honesty, what was there to say?

"We should get breakfast." Luke broke the silence that had fallen over the room. 

Michael didn't want breakfast, he wanted to stay curled up in Luke's arms for the rest of his days. 

~~~

"All I'm saying is you're not going to finish the juice." Luke laughed, playing with the packets of sugar on the diner table. 

They hadn't gotten up right away, instead laying in the bed for a few more minutes before stumbling around the sunshine covered flat and deciding neither of them was up to cooking. 

Michael had ordered a large orange juice as soon as they'd sat down and Luke had rolled his eyes and corrected the brunettes order saying he'd only have a small one.

"I would've finished it if you'd let me get it." Michael retorted, pouting and feeling like a baby. He leaned against the cushioned back of the booth, revelling on the sudden change of events. He was sitting in a cute little diner having breakfast with the boy he loved even though he was a total jerk that hurt his little lover; it was cliche and lame but he was completely immersed in how amazing it felt. 

Luke shook his head but didn't argue. They both knew Michael wouldn't have finished the juice and Luke would've ended up drinking it although he loathed oranges, but he would've done it for Michael, he would've done anything for Michael.

"Serious moment." Michael said lowly, his voice barely above a whisper and Luke leaned forward, dropping the sugar on the table and waiting. "Where's your boyfriend?"

"Home." Luke looked Michael in the eye, almost challenging him, although Michael had no idea why. 

Michael nodded though and grabbed a menu, flipping through the shiny, sticky pages, not even bothering to read it. He knew what he wanted. 

"Does he know you're here?"

Luke nodded. "He's not my mother, Michael. He knows what you mean to me."

And Michael heard the words loud and clear although Luke mumbled them towards the end. 

"He doesn't care?"

Luke shrugged almost thoughtlessly. "He doesn't need to. He trusts me."

Oh, Michael felt like he'd been slapped. Luke's words held an angry vibe that threw Michael off completely. 

He twirled one of the forks on the table around, his eyes now not meeting Luke's. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Luke shrugged again. "He doesn't worry about wasting his love on me."

Michael stiffened up, his eyes narrowing. He bit his lip harshly and looked out the window of the booth. Luke had spit the words out with such venom that Michael wondered if the younger boy had decided Michael really wasn't worth his time. 

"I love you." Michael said, not caring that this was neither the time nor place for the three words he'd been spouting out to the younger boy who quite frankly, didn't seem to care for them. 

It was silent, the only sound being the soft chatter of diners and clacking of plates. Luke glared at Michael, the older boy could feel his eyes boring into his cheek, and he wondered when he'd become so weak. 

"You still love me." 

Luke looked surprised at Michael's words but he shook his head, not in a denying way but more in a 'yeah, and it's shit' type of way. Michael wanted to reach across the table and take Luke's hand in his but he didn't; he wasn't willing to throw affection out that would be shoved back in his face.

"It's hard but I'm working on it."

Michael sighed. The waitress came by and took their orders, she smiled at the two of them, and they played it cool because neither one wanted to make a scene. 

When she walked away Michael shot a hard look at Luke. "I get that you loved me and I hurt you but being a dick to me now isn't going to make you feel better." 

Luke seemed to take that into consideration for a few seconds. "I'm obviously not being a dick if I'm coming over in the middle of the night to comfort you because you're a baby that's afraid of a god damn thunderstorm."

Michael chuckled lowly and stood up, he was suddenly tired and feeling the need to sob for a few hours. "Okay, cool, whatever you say, Luke."

He stormed from the diner, not bothering to look back because he knew if he did he would start crying and he really really really didn't need Luke to see him at his weakest.

~~~

Michael was in the kitchen watering the radermachera sinica and trying not to think. He'd only been in the flat a few minutes when he realise he hasn't watered the plant yet that day and of course, he rushed to do so.

It was quiet in the flat and Michael wasn't sure if he liked it or not. He missed Ashton's loud talking and his chirpy giggle, and the constant incessant sound of music droning on in the background of almost everything they did. He missed hearing Luke singing occasionally, rapping to Eminiem and belting out a few Sinatra songs while he moved around the kitchen. 

"Stop fucking running away from everything."

Michael jumped, his heart racing because what the hell? He turned to see Luke standing in the doorway of the kitchen, an angry look on his face and his sunglasses in hand.

He took a few steps towards Michael who narrowed his eyes. "What do you want, Hemmings? Here to berate me for some more stuff?"

"Fuck off, Michael." Luke all but spat and Michael eyes grew wide because Luke was just spouting curses today and Michael wasn't used to it. "I'm so sick of you, fucking calling me to whisper how you love me and being this sad little thing that you always got pissed at me for acting like!"

Luke was rambling and Michael was zoning out. Luke looked exceptionally hot when he was angry and Michael had never seen him like this before.

The blond was almost in Michael's face now, yelling angry words that Michael didn't hear.

"Yeah, Luke? Fuck you." Michael shot back, not caring for his words, just aiming to say something to shut the blonde up.

Luke growled and slammed his fist into the counter near Michael's waist. He pushed Michael back against the counter harshly, the older boys back slamming into the edgy piece, and fisted his hand through the unruly brown hair. Luke was pulling Michael's head back roughly, holding him still and just glaring with everything he had, and Michael found Luke forty times hotter than he ever had before. 

"You gonna hit me?" Michael was challenging him like there was no tomorrow. He wanted something to happen, something that would affect their situation right then. 

Luke looked like he was thinking about it and Michael held in a grimace. He really wasn't looking to get punched but he couldn't stop the blond. Luke shook his head slowly, his lips turned up in a smirk that Michael didn't like. 

"You're not worth my time or energy." 

And with that Luke was pushing Michael back even harder and storming away, leaving the brunet leaning against the counter with tears in his eyes and tire prints on his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I think this was a major plot twist which makes me very emotional because I'm like 'am I dragging this out or does this happen in real life?' I think Luke's kind of a dick, I mean he's just snapping and Michael's like ugh, he's so broken, idk. They make me feel some sorta way. 
> 
> But anyway, what did you think of Luke rushing over to comfort Michael? And their cuddling? And their breakfast date! (It wasn't supposed to end in an argument but shit happens) and THEN AT THEIR FLAT OH GOD I WASN'T GONNA HAVE IT END LIKE THAT BUT I WAS LIKE NO END GAME MUKE NOT STRONG NOT STRONG AT ALL. 
> 
> They were supposed to kiss but Luke isn't an angry kisser, he's still baby Lukey that isn't ready to forgive and forget. 
> 
> Oh, and that plant omf, I'm so in love with it, I don't know why, it's just a freaking plant but it's such an important piece in this story, I think because it signifies Michael and Luke's relationship BUT GOD I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW IT'S JUST PRETTY AND IT GIVES MICHAEL SOMETHING IN HIS LIFE THAT'S STABLE. 
> 
> I'm kind of rambling, I'm sorry.
> 
> I'm just really pleased with this chapter, I don't know why.
> 
> But let me know what you think! Comments are very welcome, whether compliments or critiques, all are welcome, and don't forget to leave me opinions about what's going on! I LOVE reading how you guys feel about these two goons!
> 
> Kudos too if you feel like it, but no pressure. 
> 
> Happy Easter to all that celebrate, and happy holidays to all that don't. 
> 
> Tonight it my last night of spring break and I'm going out to party so have a wonderful day/night/morning.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> x


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael only drinks tea when he's got a headache and Luke remembers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. I lied, I said two to three days until the next chapter was posted but I was so bored today so I thought what the hey let me get this out for the lovely readers. And I'm not going to actually have time to write the next few days, so I didn't want to hold off on anyone. 
> 
> I'll tell you now, this is a really sucky chapter, mostly just filler, but yeah, read the note at the end if you'd like, I'll explain more there so I don't give the story away. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Michael thought he was dying. His head was pounding and his eyes were puffy from crying. The pillow beneath his head was damp from his tears but he couldn't find it in his body to care. 

He wanted Luke.

He needed the younger boy like an addict needed their fix and a child needed their stuffed animal and a night light to go to sleep.

It was pathetic; completely and utterly pathetic. The blond had stormed from the flat, slamming doors as he went while Michael stayed where he was, struggling to catch his breath and hold himself up.

No one had ever handled him like that before and he was scared. Luke had been so pissed, he looked ready to kill, and that terrified Michael to no end. 

He stumbled from the kitchen slowly, noting how his head hurt from Luke's hair pulling. Michael didn't want to call his mum but he really needed her comfort right then; he dialled her number slowly, and listened to the ringing. 

"Michael?" His mum spoke softly, she sounded worried and Michael didn't know why.

He let out a choke sob, crumpling against the wall in the hallway. "Mum, can I come home?" 

His mother made a soft noise and Michael could picture her sitting at the kitchen table listening to him blubber on. 

"Of course, baby." She soothed, and Michael choked on a sob. "Do you need me to come get you?"

Michael shook his head. "No, I'll be over."

"Is Luke coming too?" 

Michael groaned, letting a sob out. "No, mum, he left."

~~~

It had been a few years since Michael had stepped foot in his parents house and he was nervous. The front door was open, inviting him in, so Michael knocked gently and stepped in.

His mother came out from the kitchen wiping her hands on a dishrag. She opened her arms for Michael who fell into them, fresh sobs racking his body.

"Calm down, baby." She cooed, brushing his hair back as he buried his face in her shoulder and cried. 

Karen smelled like home; warm vanilla and flowers. She cooed soft words at Michael until the sobbing slowed and she was able to move them over to the couch where Michael collapsed, his mothers fingers still running through his hair.

"What happened, baby?"

Michael sucked in a small breath and rubbed his eyes roughly, trying to remove any tears. "We had a fight and he left." Michael sniffled quietly. "I said something's I shouldn't have said, and I hurt him a lot. I've been at Ashton's and Luke... He got a new boyfriend."

Karen nodded slowly, processing this information. "What did you say?"

"I--I told him I didn't love him." Michael whispered as if he said it quieter it wouldn't sound as bad.

His mother closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. "Michael.."

"I know, mum, I shouldn't have done that and I regret it, god, I've tried telling him that and last night he was over because of the storm, but this morning he blew up at me, he..." Michael started crying again. The way Luke had casually told Michael he wasn't worth it was still stinging. "He told me I wasn't worth his time and energy."

"I'm sorry, baby." Karen tried soothing the crying boy. "People say things they don't mean because they just want to hurt."

"I love him, though, mum." 

Karen shook his head, brushing Michael's fringe back out of his face. "I know, baby, I know. But you messed up and Luke is hurting because of that."

Michael cried a bit more because she was right and that sucked. He hurt Luke and now Luke was hurting him; it was a circle of pain and no one was stopping it. 

~~~

Michael checked his phone twice when he got back to the flat, not even finding the energy to get excited when he saw a new message from Luke. 

'I'm sorry'

Michael's heart clenched tightly, he hadn't expected that and it surprised him. He wasn't sure what to say back because his words obviously held nothing for the blond anymore, he wouldn't accept Michael's apologies or proclamations of love. 

'Are you home?'

Michael replied back with 'yeah' and noticed Luke typing almost right away.

'I'm coming over'

Michael didn't reply, because what we he to do? Say no? He shook his head and placed the phone on the counter, moving to tidy up the quiet flat. His gaming consoles sat, untouched, on the floor by the TV and Michael realised he hadn't played a video game in a few weeks, and he wasn't even missing them. 

There was a soft knock at the front door before it was opened and Luke stuck his head in, blue eyes wide and searching.

"Mikey." He said, closing the door gently behind him. His hair was floppy against his forehead and Michael wanted to bury his hands in it and play with the golden blond strands.

Micha didn't like how smoothly his name flowed from Luke's mouth. His heart ached when he looked at the blond that had outright told him he wasn't worth his time. 

They were both silent, Michael could hear the traffic outside in the street. 

"What do you want, Luke?" Michael sounded exceptionally tired and bored. He didn't think he was tired until he was facing Luke who looked like hot shit.

Luke shuffled further into the flat, twisting his hands around awkwardly. "I just wanted to apologise face to face."

Michael scoffed lowly, rolling his eyes. "Am I suppose to forgive you?"

He sat down on the arm of the couch, not bothering to look at Luke when he spoke. This was all too much for him, he couldn't deal with this all right now and he was quick to voice that.

"Now's not the time for confessions." Michael said. "I think you should leave, I can't do this right now."

Luke didn't seem to like that answer. He narrowed his eyes at Michael. "I don't want to fight, Michael, but seriously, if you're going to talk like an asshole we're going to have problems."

"I said I was sorry, Luke, okay? I fucking apologised and you didn't care, Jesus Christ, what else do you want from me? You can't accept my apology and I can't deal with you right now, okay? It's not that hard to understand." Michael was almost shouting, he was angry and pouty, needing a load of cuddles and decided he'd call Ashton when Luke finally left. 

Luke didn't seem to want to leave. "Why do you always have to be difficult?"

"Because I am!" Michael stood up and slid past Luke, opening the door. "Please leave."

Luke shook his head. "Michael, we need to talk."

And Michael wasn't completely against that. "Then sit down and stop being a jerk."

Luke cracked a smile and sat down on the couch next to where Michael had been. Michael moved to the love seat arm rest where he perched, ready to bolt out of the room if Luke decided to flip out at him.

"What's your favourite colour?" Luke questioned, startling Michael who was sure the blond already knew. 

"What?" Michael raised an eyebrow, staring at the younger boy. 

He felt a headache rolling in and he closed his eyes. There was a brief moment where Michael felt his body swaying and he decided he needed some tea with loads of sugar.

"Where are you going?" Luke stood up only a second after Michael.

Michael raised his hand, silently hushing the blond. He made his way into the kitchen and pulled down a mug but decided to be polite and took another down before turning the faucet on and filling the cups. He poured them into a tea kettle and set it on the stove, making sure to put it on the lowest flame. 

He could hear Luke rustling through the paper spread out across the coffee table before footsteps neared the kitchen. 

Luke leaned against the doorframe, looking effortlessly adorable and young. "Are you not feeling good?"

So, Luke remembered that Michael drank tea when he got headaches and only then, seeing as the brunet didn't enjoy the herbal blends Luke loved to buy. That didn't make Michael's heartbeat pick up or anything, no. 

Michael shook his head, though, to answer Luke's question. "I've got the worst headache." 

He closed his eyes, ignoring the blond boy tutting in the background and the sound of the burner going. 

"Go sit down, I'll make the tea."

Michael shook his head slowly but moved to the kitchen table where he sat down in Luke's chair. He could hear Luke bustling about, opening the cabinets and pulling out what Michael hoped to be the honey pot, sugar bowl and cinnamon apple flavoured tea bags, that Michael had almost bribed Luke to buy. 

What he didn't expect was to feel Luke's hands in his hair, gently massaging his head. Michael wanted to swat his hands away and remind him that he had a boyfriend, but then he thought about it; about how Luke had the choice and this was his decision and giving Michael a scalp massage because he had a headache and felt like crying more didn't mean anything. 

Nothing meant anything.  
~~~

"Careful, it's hot." Luke placed a steaming mug covered in teddy bears on the table in front of Michael. The bowl of sugar was in the centre and Luke pushed it closer for Michael to get to before sitting down in Michael's seat with his own blue mug with puffy white clouds on it. 

They were silent as they fixed up their tea's. Michael was first to break the growing old silence. "Green."

Luke paused, glancing up at the brunet, his eyebrows drawn in confusion.

"My favourite colour is green." Michael clarified, stirring the clumps of sugar in. He took a small sip, finding it not sweet enough just yet.

Luke nodded, holding his mug in his hands daintily. "Nick's a huge DragonBall-Z fan, too."

And oh, Michael doesn't know what to say. "Nick?" He settles for playing dumb although he knows very well who Luke's talking about; he just wishes he didn't. 

Luke nodded carefully, gauging Michael's reaction. 

The older boy just stared at him, he didn't know what to say. 'Glad you've moved on from me' just didn't sound polite so instead he kept his mouth shut and changed topics.

"Are you staying with your family?"

Luke nodded and Michael grimaced. The blondes family had never like Michael and this wasn't helping at all. "They don't know what happened though."

Michael raised an eyebrow because what?

Luke sighed and took a sip of his tea. "Mum's just warming up to you, I don't want her to hate you for no reason."

And Michael was close to passing out because Luke was playing word games but he was sure Luke was insinuating that he didn't want his mother to hate Michael in the end of all of this, which brought feeble hope to Michael because was the end game Luke and Michael together? 

He hoped so. 

~~~

Luke's phone rang from the other room but neither boy made a move to even acknowledge it. They were talking and had been for hours, it was like catching up with a long lost friend after years of being apart. Michael had never realised how little he'd known about Luke, and that upset him to no end.

Luke on the other hand seemed to know anything and everything about Michael, his favourite food, place, band, book, video game, everything about him, and Michael was happy about that.

They laughed about Luke's penguin obsession and how his favourite colour was the colour of his eyes, and Michael noticed how Luke's eyes seemed to look so alive in those hours, how he looked happy and comfortable and not torn apart, crying. 

"I wish we would've done this before." Michael mused softly, and upon hearing Luke sigh, knew the younger boy felt the same way. 

The house phone rang, startling Michael who was busy staring at the chipping paint on the wall. He moved to answer the phone but Luke stopped him. "Please don't answer it."

Michael nodded because this was their happy place, right there in that moment where they could talk and laugh and be happy without interruptions. 

"You make it so hard." Luke commented when Michael sat back down, running his hand through his hair to brush the fringe back. "I think 'it'll all be okay, you'll be strong and you'll move on' but then I see you and it's like nothing else matters."

Michael understands, and Luke saying them puts it's into perspective even more. "Maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore then."

"It seems to me these meet-ups aren't necessarily voluntary." To which Michael couldn't disagree. "But I want to see you, as much as I don't want to, I do."

"It's hard." Michael responds, playing with his mug quietly.

Luke nods gracefully but doesn't reply. He looks to be caught up in his thoughts and Michael doesn't want to disturb him.

The more he thinks about it, the more he realises that he's changed a bit in these last few weeks; no longer running away from everything, taking more opinions and feelings into consideration and overall being more of a caring person. 

"I think we needed this." Michael finally speaks, breaking Luke from his thoughts. "We needed time apart, to collect ourselves and realise things we hadn't noticed before."

Michael feels like he's hit the jackpot when Luke nods, because it makes sense. They needed something in between them so they'd see that they weren't doing it right.

Michael wants to be irrational and completely irresponsible but he isn't going to drag Luke down with him. "It's almost ten, you should probably get home."

And Luke's glanced at the clock, his eyebrows knit in confusion, obviously surprised at how quickly the time passed when he was with Michael. His mug was empty, had been for a while, but he hadn't noticed, and neither had Michael. 

They both stood up, chairs scratching at the flooring and breaking through the night silence.

Luke ran his fingers through his mop of blond hair and bit his lip. He wasn't looking at Michael, but at his throat. "I really want to kiss you."

And Michael shook his head. "But you're going to go home and maybe call me tomorrow."

Luke nodded, looking slightly pained but accepted Michael's tone of finality. They made their way to the front door where they both stopped and stared at each other, daring the other to speak first.

"Bye, Michael." Luke ruffled the older boys hair messily, breaking out his breathtaking smile that Michael hadn't seen in months.

Michael smiled in return, punching the blondes arm gently and mumbling out "goodnight, Luke."

The blonde opened the front door and stepped out into the hallway, he turned and Michael closed the door, not wanting to leave any opportunity for any mistakes. 

He could hear Luke standing outside of the door, zippering the sweatshirt he'd kept on all day. 

"I love you." 

Michael tried not to hear it, he really did, and he tried not to let a smile take over his face but he didn't reply because now was not the time for this, and Michael was just figuring out that everything had a time and place, he just needed to have patience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, filler chapter, right? I know a lot of you were saying you wouldn't forgive Michael or anyone for doing something like this to you and I feel you, I really do, it's just they're so deeply in love and stuff that they want everything to work out, just there are a lot of bumps in the road. But I wanted them to have a moment where they could reflect and learn about each other, because they're both growing and changing and they need this sort of communication and time. 
> 
> I hope no one hated this though, it wasn't my best, I apologise. 
> 
> I really liked the end though, like really liked, I'm not even sure how to summarise my love for it. 
> 
> I also tried to incorporate some Mama Clifford in, because she's bæ and everyone needs comfort from someone other than their best friend that they happen to sleep with. 
> 
> Okay, I think my speel is done for now BUT NO PLANT IN THIS CHAPTER I DON'T THINK. DAMN I LOVE THAT CHINA DOLL PLANT. 
> 
> I ALSO WANT TO SAY THAT THE TITLE OF THIS STORY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A LINE FROM 18 BY ONE DIRECTION BUT I LITERALLH AM DEAF AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE PROPER LYRICS WERE SO WE ENDED UP WITH MY FLASE TITLE. but I love it anyway. 
> 
> Oh, happy ending or sad ending? Nobody knows. But I think this is going to be a bit more chaptered, maybe more of a fic than a lengthy one-shot, again, who knows.
> 
> Lastly, leave some comments! Tell me what you think of Luke and Michael, and how you feel about their predictiment. 
> 
> I don't really care, I just love seeing what you guys think!
> 
> Kudos too if you enjoyed and feel like it, no pressure though.
> 
>  Also, the next chapter might be in Luke's POV I'm not sure yet. 
> 
> Thank you so much everyone that's read, I honestly can't say thank you enough, and I really hope everyone is enjoying the story so far.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> x


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brownies and movies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, really fast I want to say that in this chapter NOTHING happened the way I had first planned. It was all a huge twist that I chose today. I literally just wrote this because oh gosh, you're all so amazing and I love you all so much and I just didn't want to leave you waiting so I made sure to squeeze time in tonight to pop a quick chapter out. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Michael met Nick four days later in a small cafe down the street from his flat. The curly haired brunet boy was holding Luke's hand yet again, and a long red and white stick in the other. He had sunglasses on although it wasn't as sunny as the previous day. Nick was kind, and he had a nice smile that Michael couldn't help but return. The only problem was Nick didn't see Michael smile back, or the menu in his hand, or the colour of Luke's eyes, he was blind, and Michael instantly stopped hating the boy. 

"What's good here?" Nick had a huge grin on his face and his hands folded on the table top. His sunglasses were pushed up into his curls, and his gaze was focused on Michael. 

Luke looked to Michael who shrugged and flipped the menu open. "I mean, they have good coffee."

Luke leaned into Nick as Michael spoke and the brunet boy felt jealousy roll through his body, but he kept his mouth shut and tried to help the curly haired boy make a decision.

After they ordered, Nick excused himself to the bathroom, leaving Michael and Luke to the quiet table. 

"You never mentioned..." Michael trailed off, looking down at the glossy tabletop.

Luke huffed softly. "It's not something I could've brought up in conversation."

Oh, he had a point. Michael nodded, drumming his fingertips on the table now. "He's very nice."

"Isn't he? His heart is so big." Luke said, trying to catch Michael's gaze.

Luke could see Michael trying to hold back something, probably a grimace. He hadn't planned on introducing the two but Nick had insisted on meeting the boy that had broken Luke's heart, and so Luke called Michael who whined for fifteen minutes about being woken up before eleven but promised to meet the two boys at the cafe just down his street. 

"He really wanted to meet you."

Michael rolled his eyes fondly because honestly, Luke looked so excited and happy around Nick that it was worth getting up before eleven on a Saturday. 

Nick came back to the table, eyebrows knit in concentration. "Unless I missed an invisible wall, the bathroom didn't have any hand dryers or paper towels."

Luke and Michael chuckled as Nick sat down, an easy smile on his face. They chatted quietly, and Michael couldn't help but find himself enjoying Nick's company, even though Luke had almost melted into the cheery boys side.

~~~

Luke was outside on the phone, leaving Michael and Nick at the table alone. Michael took a sip of his hot coffee and played with the handle of the cup, not knowing what to say.

“Luke’s told me you’re a huge DragonBall-Z fan.” Nick finally commented, his hands folded on the table calmly.

Michael nodded, “Indeed I am, it’s one of my best qualities.”

They laughed quietly, and Michael was glad he had met Nick.

“I want you to know that I’m not here to try and pull Luke away from you.” The curly haired brunette said, twisting the spoon in front of him around. “I understand he’s still completely in love with you and I don’t plan on trying to change that, it’s up to him to do that. I also don’t want to be that psycho guy that threatens you for hanging out with my boyfriend. I want him to be happy; we were friends before anything else and I know how much you mean to him and I can feel how much he means to you.”

Michael was silent. He hadn’t been expecting their conversation to take a sudden turn and was at a loss for words. He didn’t know how to take Nick’s words because they were nice and Michael didn’t understand how this boy in front of him could be so willing to let Luke break his heart and keep smiling.

“I hope we can be friends.” Nick stood up, reaching for his white cane. He stuck out his hand for Michael who took it and shook it thoroughly. “I hope we see each other soon, Michael. It was nice meeting you.”

“It was nice to meet you too, Nick.” He watched the boy make his way through the cafe and outside to where Luke was on the phone still. Luke held his hand over the mouth of the phone and Michael suspected Nick was talking with how Luke was staring at the younger boy intently. Luke nodded a few times, leaning in to hug the curly haired boy before he went back to his call and Nick began walking down the street.

Michael wondered when Luke had become who he was in that moment. He felt like he had missed out on a bunch of crucial moments in the younger blondes life when he ran away and hid, and he found himself in a cloud of remorse. He sat at the table alone until Luke came back in, a smile on his face. They stared at each other for a few moments, almost entranced in how simple things could be.

“I like him.” Michael said, pulling the leftover sugar packets over and stacking them up. 

Luke nodded. "He's a good guy."

It was obvious Luke was happy with him and Michael wondered if the blondes heart started racing when he saw the curly haired brunet, or he forgot to breath when they touched. Michael held in a grimace because it was supposed to be him that Luke thought about, and bit his lip because of, and made him happy, but Michael had screwed up, big time and it costed him something that he couldn't get back.

~~~

"So, he's blind?" Michael could hear Ashton chewing through the phone as he spoke.

Michael held the phone away from his ear as he stirred the mac and cheese boiling on the stove. "Stop chewing when you talk, you pig. And yes, I just said that, didn't I?"

"No need for attitude." Ashton responded, a playful tease to his voice that Michael couldn't help but smile at. "Is he nice?"

Michael groaned, because Nick was too nice. 

Ashton chuckled, hearing the noise. "Does Luke love him?"

"I don't know, part of me hopes so, and part of me is praying he doesn't. I don't want Luke to hurt him or anything, especially not because of me, god I'd feel like shit." Michael leaned against the kitchen counter, wooden spoon in hand as Ashton rambled on about Michael being too soft at which Michael scoffed and told him to 'fuck off, you curly haired freak' and hung up.

Only seconds after he hung up did the phone ring. Michael sighed before answering with a soft 'hello?'

"That wasn't very nice, Michael." Ashton berated, his voice filled with humour. "Can I come over for dinner?"

"Ash." Michael whined, sticking the phone in the crook of his neck and sighing loudly. "You've got twenty minutes or I'm eating it all."

The phone clicked dead before Michael had finished talking and he laughed because knowing Ashton, he was already halfway there. 

~~~

Michael was curled on the couch while Ashton rambled on about how his mother was shipping his two younger siblings to stay with him for a few weeks while she went on vacation. 

"You'll babysit, right? They're not too wild, Lauren's just going through that girl stage." Ashton waved his hand though the air, casually brushing off his sisters behaviour. 

Michael nodded slowly, afraid for what he was getting himself into. 

"And I promise they won't touch your radermachera sinica." Ashton threw a pillow at Michael who was spacing out slightly at the thought of two small children running around with his plant in their little unstable arms. "Aren't you proud I remembered?"

Michael scowled at Ashton, throwing the pillow back. He ran his fingers through his hair, mussing it more than it already was. 

"Harry'll probably cling to you the whole time, he's weird like that." Ashton continued speaking, a fond smile on his face as he reminisced about his siblings. 

"It's no big deal, as long as they don't tie me up and destroy my house, I really don't care." Michael shrugged.

It'd been a long time since he'd been around kids, especially Ashton's siblings. He hadn't seen Lauren since she was six and Harry since he was two, give or take a few pictures around Ashton's home, and he wondered what they would be like now. 

"They'll be good, I promise." Ashton swore, a gleam in his eye that Michael hoped was good. 

~~~

"Please get off of the table." Michael reached for Harry who had climbed on top of the kitchen table for reasons unknown to Michael. 

Harry let out a loud warrior-like yell and karate chopped at Michael's outstretched arms. 

"Bro, calm down." Michael frowned as the boy started doing moves on the table that Michael prayed wouldn't collapse. "Harry, get off of the table, now."

He didn't even sound forceful, it was pathetic. "Lauren, please get him off the table before it breaks."

The golden brown haired girl glanced up from her phone that Michael swore was her life line; she couldn't... maybe wouldn't, put it down for more than a minute before sliding it back open an giggling. "Harry, get down."

Harry shook his head, sticking his tongue out at his big sister. "Shut up, Loz."

Michael sighed and reached for the boy again. "Please, Harry, I'll make you some noodles." He named the only thing he could think of and hoped he had some in the pantry.

Harry shook his head. "Brownies and I'll get down."

And that was not in Michael's range of cooking. He groaned, closing his eyes, this wasn't going to be easy.

~~~

"One cup of milk," Michael instructed, pulling the half gallon from the fridge and pushing it towards Harry who opened it and poured it into a measuring cup. "One, Harry, one."

The younger boy was struggling to hold the half gallon up but had barked out a 'don't help me, I wanna do it myself' to Michael after he climbed down from the tabletop.

"Do you want help?" Michael asked, already expecting the answer.

Harry glanced at him and shook his head. "I've got it." He poured it in, only adding a bit more than one cup but they weren't going to be too picky about that.

"And one egg." Michael cocked an eyebrow at the young boy. "Can I do this?"

Harry considered it for a moment before nodding. Michael, who was secretly pleased the brownies wouldn't be chock full of egg shell, cracked the brown egg on the rim of the bowl and tossed the shell in the sink. 

"Do you want to stir?" Michael asked, waving a big spoon at Harry.

The boy shook his head so Michael began mixing, feeling the younger boy lean against his thigh. "Where's your boyfriend?"

"Who?" Michael questioned, pausing to look down at the doe eyed youngster. He felt the boy squeeze his leg with his small hands so he picked him up and sat him on the counter next to the brownie batter bowl.

Harry dipped his finger into the mix and tasted it. He scrunched his nose up at the taste and stared at Michael. "I don't know, Ashton used to call and talk to mum about his friends and he always mentioned how happy you and your boyfriend were. I wish Ashton would be happy with his boyfriend."

Michael shot him a look. "Ashton has a boyfriend?"

This was news to him, and quite frankly he was offended by the fact that Ashton hadn't even told him, his own brother had to.

Harry shrugged, and Lauren called out from the living room. "He means he wishes Ashton could get a boyfriend and be happy like you and your boyfriend are."

Harry nodded frantically, and Michael chuckled. "He'll be happy one day."

~~~

He didn't even bother knocking this time, and scared the crap out of Lauren when the door opened and Luke casually walked in, only pausing when he saw the wide eyed girl on the couch looking like a deer in headlights.

"Uhh.." Luke stammered out the word. "Michael?"

Michael's breath caught when he heard Luke's voice filter in through the kitchen. He left Harry on the counter, scooping fingertips of batter out and eating them, as he moved to see Luke standing in the doorway with confused eyes.

"What's up?"

Luke nodded his head casually at Lauren. "Who's she?"

Michael glanced at the girl who was already back to being immersed in her phone. "Lauren, she's Ashton's sister."

Luke visibly tensed at Michael's words, looking down to the floor. "Oh"

It was one word but it hit Michael like forty. The fact that Ashton's sister being at Michael's upset Luke made Michael feel like crying but also jumping for joy because he was obviously jealous that Ashton was still close with him and because it made Luke sad to know Michael was still messing around with the older boy. 

Michael could hear Harry singing in the kitchen and he knew Lauren wasn't paying attention to the situation around her. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see you." Luke scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Is that weird?"

Michael felt his heart speed up and he shook his head. "Quite plausible actually. I'm glad you came over, do you want to help Harry and I make brownies?"

Luke nodded, a breathtaking smile on his face. "Is that... Ashton's brother?"

"Yeah, he's a handful but I think you'll like him." Michael laughed as they walked back into the kitchen. 

Harry was still on the counter, swinging his feet back and forth, and singing a song that reminded Michael of a television show he couldn't quite place his finger on. "Are you..?"

"This is Luke," Michael cut the younger boy off, knowing very well the next two words about to escape the child's mouth. "He's a friend of mine."

Harry nodded, clueless to the stink eye being shot his way by the brunet boy. 

~~~

Lauren was curled into Michael's arm and Harry was across his lap, snoring as Luke and Ashton shot daggers at each other from across the room.

In all fairness, both kids had begged to watch at least two movies before going back to Ashton's that night and Luke hadn't seemed to want to leave, so Michael was stuck with two kids clinging to him and two grown men looking as if they were ready to throw punches. 

"Calm the testosterone down, guys." Michael hissed and Harry stirred on his lap. "Just watch the movie or get out."

He wasn't in the mood for bickering, whether verbal or mental, he just wasn't having it. 

~~~

The movie ended eventually and Ashton took Harry into his arms, cradling him like a baby and promising Michael he'd be 'just one minute and I'll grab Loz' before taking the youngest down to his car.

"Are you going to head out soon, too?" Michael asked Luke, who was lounging on the couch looking awfully relaxed. He'd kicked his shoes off soon after the first movie had started, and was snuggling with an overstuffed pillow. 

Luke shrugged, glancing over at Lauren who was curled in a ball on the love seat. "Not yet, is that alright?" He sounded worried, probably that Michael was going to say no.

But Michael nodded because he liked being around Luke, he loved him for Christ sake, anytime spent with Luke was time well spent. "That's fine." 

It took Ashton a few minutes before he came back up for Lauren, a defeated look on his face. 

"What's wrong?" Luke asked, surprising them both.

Ashton didn't have it in him to shoot the boy a glare. "Harry's crying for mum again."

It was the third time in the space of two days that the boy had thrown a fit or cried about being without his mother. 

Michael nodded, patting Ashton on the back as he took his sleeping sister into his arms and made his way to the door.

"Thank you for today, Michael." Ashton gave a weak smile, his drained energy seeping through into his usual bubbly persona. 

Michael bit his lip. "Anytime, Ash. Seriously, whenever you need me, call."

And maybe when the door closed did Luke made a small sound in the back of his throat that sounded like a growl mixed with a scoff. And maybe Michael turned to throw a questioning look at the blond who was staring at him, a captivated look on his face.

"What?" Michael asked, tired and worn from the day with the kids.

Luke shrugged. "They were nice."

Michael wondered if Luke was telling him everything and voice his concern.

"No." Luke shook his head. "There's a lot to talk about, but it's late and we're both tired so tomorrow is probably the better idea."

Michael nodded, flopping down onto the couch, ready for a hot shower and his bed.

Luke looked like he was holding back yet again. 

"Seriously, Luke, are you okay?" Michael asked, raising an eyebrow at the blond boy.

"What was Harry asking about when I came over?" Luke questioned, looking at his hands. He picked at a cuticle, looking like he was busying himself. 

Michael shrugged, because this would be an awkward conversation no matter how you flipped it. "He wanted to know if you were my boyfriend."

Luke looked surprised. "He's like six, how does he know what a boyfriend is?"

They brushed by the subject of Michael's quick response to the boy, instead moving on to berate the world today and how children learn about things they shouldn't need to worry about until later on in life.

And when Luke was leaving, close to one in the morning, they were talking softly, their bodies side by side as they reminisced and laughed, and Luke grabbed Michael's hands in his own and stroked his knuckles softly. 

It was all Michael could do to not cry at the affection Luke was giving him. 

And then Luke pressed a kiss to Michael's forehead and stood up. "I think it's time we called it a night." He stretched, his t-shirt riding up to expose his pale, flat tummy.

Michael swallowed dryly and nodded. His thoughts were lingering on the kiss, and he couldn't help but do a pro and con list, as pathetic as it sounded. 

"Goodnight, Michael." Luke smiled, shooting him a smile.

Michael resisted the urge to kiss him, instead settling for saying goodnight and blushing lightly when he let the words 'I love you' skip onto the end his sentence. 

But, it wasn't his imagination when Luke said it back and touched his face, the look on his face showing a longing that made Michael's heart flutter and his breath catch in his throat.

"I love you so much."

A small smile stretched across Michael's face when he shut the door behind the blond and slumped against it, feeling like he was living in a cliche romance movie, but loving every moment of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, thoughts? 
> 
> NICK IS BLIND. I DON'T KNOW WHEN I DECIDED THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN BUT IT DID. I think, honestly, I did that because I wanted someone that couldn't see what was between Michael and Luke, but could almost feel it (very Tiresias) and I think that Luke in this story would be the type of boy to not care about disabilities or the lack of something a person has. But writing Michael in this was difficult, I don't know why, but I kept making him so nice and pleased so I needed Ashton where Michael could dick around a bit. 
> 
> Also, the siblings thing was spur of the moment but I really liked that, don't know why, but it kind of I don't know actually, it was just me being bored and writing. 
> 
> Lol.
> 
> So, what did you guys think of this chapter? Nick? Michael babysitting? Luke's affection at the very end??
> 
> I think I write all of the muke affection at the end, and I don't know why. And I know it was a little too much because Luke and Nick are together but I really really wanted a moment of Luke just being like 'damn' and Nick! Oh my gosh, he's my favourite, he's so easy going ad kind and he's there for Luke, no matter what he ends up doing. 
> 
> We all need a Nick in our lives
> 
> Anyway, as I said above, none of this was planned. I tried to plan in math but I gave up and then realised that I NEEDED to get a chapter up quickly.
> 
> So now, no promises, but I'll try to upload by Sunday, probably before though but maybe not until. I feel major writers block coming on.
> 
> I also forgot I was writing a Cake story so that's sort of on hold, so anyone reading that also, don't lose hope because it'll be back right after this is finished. 
> 
> I have a quick question; is it better to write the whole story out and then upload them one at a time or to write them as I go? Because I feel like I take a long time with each chapter but then I feel like if I write them at all one time I'm going to want to change a lot of stuff around at the end but it'll be too late. 
> 
> I don't know, I'm over thinking I think.
> 
> Okay, enough of me whining.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading, I absolutely LIVE for your comments and I LOVE reading them, you guys always make things click for me and I'm always gaining a new perspective, so thank you a lot!
> 
> I think this next chapter will be in Luke's POV but once again, no promises.
> 
> Comments are appreciated, I love reading what you guys have to say!
> 
> Kudos are lovely, but only if you absolutely love the story and think its necessary.
> 
> I hope you all have a nice week.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> x


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Affection can go a long way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, 
> 
> I just want to say before you read that this is Luke's POV and it's very different from the other chapters, I think. There's a lot of endings in this chapter (not people or relationship wise), but well... you'll see :P
> 
> I don't want to spoil the chapter so I'm done talking for now, but be sure to check out my end notes :D
> 
> Enjoy!

Luke hadn't talked to Michael since that night and he honestly couldn't find it in his heart to even try and talk to the older boy.

It was too much; trying to love Michael as hard as he did while Nick had his heart out on the line and Luke felt his stomach reeling in the worst way imaginable whenever he thought about how he told Michael he loved him straight to his face, and kissed his forehead and rubbed his hand, he was bordering on something he was struggling to work through.

He felt horrible, and he regretted it because he was in a relationship, a healthy, loving relationship with a boy that cared about him more than he could've hoped for and he was pretty much doing whatever he could to destroy it without even meaning to. 

"I need to go shopping." Nick walked into the room and sat down on the couch next to Luke. 

Luke hummed in reply and leaned up, rubbing his cheeks roughly. "Alright." He grabbed for his wallet on the end table and stood up.

They made their way through Nick's house and Luke locked the door behind them when they were outside. They walked down the sidewalk, hands clasped and a warm breeze blowing in their faces.

"Have you talked to Michael?" Nick inquired as they went. 

Luke sighed, shaking his head. "No, I think we need some time apart."

Nick squeezed his hand almost comfortingly. "I thought you two were getting along."

"He..." Luke shook his head again, trailing off. He didn't know what to say to explain his actions or what had happened between the two.

Nick sighed adjusting his sunglasses on his face. He looked like he wanted to speak but didn't, instead just walking faster, his face tensed. “I understand you love him, really, Luke, I do, and you know that I’m here for you every step of the way but this...this isn’t alright. Whatever keeps happening between the two of you needs to chill, okay? I don’t want to be the controlling boyfriend but seriously, I have feelings too, and while the outcome of our relationship might not be the best I’d rather it be a mutual decision then you going behind my back and fucking me over.”

And oh, Luke almost stopped walking when Nick spoke. The boy sounded weary, probably because he knew what was going on and it was hurting him, which made Luke feel forty times worse than he already did but he couldn’t help it, he loved Michael.

“I love him.” Luke murmured weakly, his eyes focused on the ground because looking at Nick after saying those words was too hard.

“And do you love me?” It was the first time the two had talked of love between them and it made Luke almost antsy.

He was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know.”

Nick seemed to accept his answer as he nodded and squeezed Luke’s hand again. “That’s alright, feelings are hard to read sometimes, especially if you’re dealing with a bunch of them.”

Luke didn’t understand how he’d found Nick; a boy so easy going and simple, he didn’t pressure Luke into making decisions, or control his life, he was just sliding through it all without looking back. He was sure he felt something strong for the boy, they’d been friends for years so it was obvious they cared for each other, but everyday spent with the boy he felt himself growing fonder. Nick knew him like the back of his own hand, he knew how Luke worked, what he liked, how he felt before Luke even knew himself, and he wanted Luke to be happy.

They were nearing the bazaar that Nick almost insisted they go to when shopping for fresh fruits and vegetables. People were milling around buying different things and Luke took a deep breath, inhaling the faint air of sweet fruits.

“You make me happy when skies are grey.” Luke sang softly, his lips near Nicks ear. He pressed a soft kiss to the curly haired brunettes cheek, enjoying the way his cheeks tinted a soft pink colour and a huge smile overtook his face.  
~~~

“I told him I loved him.” Luke twirled his swirly straw around a few times before dipping it back into the lemonade glass. “I shouldn’t have.”

Nick hummed softly, leaning back in his chair on the patio. He hadn’t said much since Luke had begun talking, instead listening to everything the blond had to say.

“It was wrong, I know and I knew when I said it that it was wrong but it was like my brain was in autopilot and the words just slipped out.” Luke was trying to explain himself, he was rambling and they both knew it. He was afraid of what Nick would say or do; would he leave Luke? 

It was in that moment that Luke started to panic because he was playing games with Nick’s heart without even noticing it and the boy didn’t have to deal with it. He realised something he’d be trying to figure out and it was almost mind blowing to discover and finally accept. He did love Nick, not quite as much as he should’ve but enough. Now wasn’t the time to admit that though, so Luke sat in his seat, his hands clasped, almost white with how hard he was squeezing them and hoped Nick wouldn’t drop him.

“But you do love him.” Nick finally spoke, his voice inquisitive, not angry or assuming. “You only told the truth.”

Luke shook his head, he didn’t want Nick making excuses for his wrongdoings. “It wasn’t right to do to you, I care about you just as much as I do Michael and I want to make myself happy but I can’t do that if I’m dragging you down as I do it.”

Nick’s lips quirked at Lukes words. “They’re just words, and while it hurts to know you’ve said them to someone else, it’s not the end of the world.”

It was almost unreal how forgiving Nick was which made Luke wonder if he himself was forgiving enough. He hadn’t given Michael a chance to fix what had happened, instead he ran away and found someone new. It wasn’t that Nick was a rebound, but he almost was, and that was the sad part, how easily the boy had accepted it.

“It doesn’t make what I did right, though.” Luke argued. He felt like a child needing to be punished for doing something wrong.

Nick shook his head. “No, it doesn’t, but it also isn’t as big as a deal as you’re making it out to be.”

“I regret it.” Luke said softly, because he did and he wanted Nick to know that. “I like you... a lot.”

“I like you a lot too.” Nick smiled and once again, Luke wondered how he’d gotten so lucky.

~~~

It was raining, the clouds were rolling almost angrily and thunder crashed in the distance. Luke counted the seconds between each clap and stood up from his seat on the stairs.

Nick was in the shower and Luke had to get home before the storm got bad. He shouted up the stairs that he was leaving and Nick responded with ‘be safe and call me when you get in’. Luke promised he would as he pulled one of the sweatshirts hanging by the door, over his head and opened the front door, gazing out into the messy, wet world.

He didn’t want to leave, he would have rathered stayed with Nick overnight and left in the morning if at all, but he knew his mum would rather have him home where she knew he was safe and dry. He hadn’t drove to Nick’s so he started the lengthy walk back home as the rain soaked his clothes and he blinked away drops clinging to his eyelashes.

He could hear cars driving past, puddles of rainwater splashing as they drove through them and he sighed, today of all days he chose to walk.

There were a few kids playing on one of the porches on Nick’s street and they waved to Luke who had no idea who they were but responded anyway. When he neared the ice cream shop on the corner of the street he saw Ashton huddled under an umbrella as Harry ran with his older sister, whom Luke just couldn’t recall the name of, towards the shop, but what drew him back to staring at Ashton was the mess of brown hair on the boy next to Ashton, the boy curled into the curly haired man’s body, looking like he fit there.

Luke felt like he was watching life move slowly, the two boys looked like they were attached at the hip for how close they were and the way they watched the two kids jump about as they waited for their ice cream almost broke Luke’s heart.

He saw Ashton’s arm around Michael’s shoulders, something he hadn’t noticed before and how Ashton had this stupidly happy smile on his face that Luke couldn’t help but envy; they looked happy, and Luke supposed they were.

And then the kids were running back, screaming about the rain melting their treat and Luke stood there, in the downpour watching Michael pick Harry up and twirl him around as the little boy giggled and how the girl leaned into her older brothers tummy and laughed.

They were playing in the rain, it was cute and romantic, and Luke hated every second of it but he kept staring.

Ashton handed the girl the umbrella and thunder crackled in the distance. The smile on Michael’s face faltered and Luke felt bad until Ashton grabbed Michael’s hand and pulled him into the older man. Luke could see them staring at each other as the kids played, and he could see Michael’s lips moving as he talked, and Luke hoped he was telling Ashton to stop.

But then they were kissing, and Ashton’s hands were in Michaels hair and Michael’s arms were taut as he held Ashton close to him.

Luke didn’t feel sick anymore, his heart was beating in his ears and he knew his mouth was open wide. He backed away from them, feeling frazzled and confused because while the anticipation for what had been going to happen had him ready to pass out, when they’d finally kissed... his body relaxed and he felt almost relieved.

~~~  
Luke laid on his bed for a few hours, ignoring his mum calling him to empty the dishwasher or put his soaked clothes in the hamper. He needed to think and process what had happened; his mind was reeling because his heart wasn’t weighed down by the thought of Michael kissing Ashton and it scared him some.

He’d called Nick when he’d gotten home, not bothering to mention what happened. But he realised he needed someone else to clarify for him because he himself wasn’t capable of doing so.

“Hello?” Nick sounded cheerful and Luke couldn’t help but smile or hold down the butterflies doing cartwheels in his stomach.

“Hi, Nick.” Luke replied almost shyly before launching into his tale. “I was walking home and I saw Michael and Ashton and they kissed and oh my god, it was so romantic and at first I was like ‘no’ and then it actually happened and I didn’t feel as sick anymore and I don’t understand what’s going on, why don’t I care?”

Nick was quiet and Luke wondered if they boy had hung up until he heard him let out a soft ‘hmm’. “Do you think that maybe you don’t love him as much as you think you do?”

He sounded weary when he spoke, almost like he was afraid to actually say it.

Luke huffed softly, rolling around on the bed a bit, nearly dropping the phone. “I honestly don’t know.”

“You need to look at the bigger picture, Luke, this isn’t about being loved or loving, it’s about being loved and loving back just as hard.” Nick stated, sounding philosophical and thoughtful. He was straight to the point, and Luke loved that. “You love him, but do you love him more than just a friend? I don’t think you do.”

Luke thought about it for a few seconds. He decided Nick was probably right, as usual. There was no other explanation for his lack of hurt when Michael and Ashton had kissed, it hadn’t bothered him in the least, if anything, he thought it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

“Will you kiss me in the rain?” Luke’s voice sounded small as he questioned Nick.

The boy laughed, promising that the next rainstorm he would sweep Luke outside and kiss him until he couldn’t breathe. 

~~~

Luke’s mother finally cornered him between the bathroom and his room. She looked mad and confused, but mostly she looked sympathetic.

“Why didn’t you tell your father or I?” Liz asked, her voice soft like she was afraid of hurting him.

Luke shrugged. “I know you don’t like Michael and I don’t want you to hate him because we’ve drifted apart.”

He felt better finally telling his mother; she was his best friend and it was hard to keep secrets from her.

Liz rubbed her son’s shoulder soothingly, who chuckled and kissed her cheek, sliding past her into his room and closing the door. It was nice that she hadn’t reacted badly, but Luke wondered how she’d found out about their split, deciding a neighbor had seen something or Nick’s mum had spilled when talking to her.

He didn’t worry about it because now it was all out, and he knew his family loved Nick, so their relationship wouldn’t be a problem. It made his heart beat a bit faster that now he’d be able to kiss his boyfriend whenever he wanted and hold his hand, or have him over for sleepovers; whatever they had to hide before was now out in the open and Luke was thrilled.

~~~

When he finally called Michael, it took the older boy a few rings to respond but their conversation stayed as strong as before. Luke asked about the radermachera sinica and Michael told him that it had finally bloomed, and that Lauren, Ashton’s sister, had begged Michael to teach her how to care for plants and she now had her own blooming plant, a guzmania conifera that she absolutely adored. They chatted easily until Luke said they needed to talk.

Michael grew quiet as he waited for Luke to speak.

“I’m in love with Nick.” Luke spoke softly, hoping his voice didn’t waver.

“I know.” 

Luke was surprised by Michael’s response; he sounded like this was old news that Luke had spoken of thousands of times before. 

“What do you mean ‘you know’?” Luke questioned, playing with the strings over the rip in his jeans.

Michael sighed. “It’s quite obvious with how you look at him. Anyone could see you’re head over heels in love, he probably even knows.”

Luke hoped he didn’t, he wanted to say it to his boyfriend face to face, he wanted to see Nick’s reaction. He huffed lowly before responding. “Do you love Ashton?”

Michael was quiet.

“I saw the two of you, in the rain last week.” Luke said. “You looked happy.”

Michael didn’t reply.

“I thought I was going to die when I saw you kiss but then it happened and I realised it didn’t really bother me.” Luke was beginning to ramble and Michael wasn’t bothering to stop him. “You looked like a family, with Harry and Lauren, and it was adorable, and I’m jealous yes, but it’s not like I’m falling apart.”

“It’s what we do.” Was all Michael said, hanging up and leaving Luke as confused as ever.

~~~

Nick woke Luke up with kisses before laying his head on the blondes chest. Luke knew his heart was beating quickly and he knew Nick could hear and feel it.

“I love you.” Luke murmured, reaching up to play with Nick’s curly hair.

The boy placed his chin on Luke’s chest so they were staring at each other. Luke knew Nick couldn’t actually see him, but he felt the intense feelings that one would get from a hardcore stare down.

“Do you?” Nick questioned and Luke nodded before vocalizing his words. Nick chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to Luke’s chest before laying his cheek back on him. “I love you too.”

“I think I’ve loved you for a while now but was so caught up in Michael that I didn’t really try and figure us out.” Luke mused, staring at the ceiling now. “What we have... it’s good, and healthy and I love it.”

Mush was Luke’s middle name at that minute because the cute little grin that settled over his face left Luke a puddle on the bed. He was happy he had told the boy his feelings, and he was ecstatic the boy felt the same way, but it felt like something was missing, he just wasn’t sure what.

~~~

They were curled up in Luke’s bed, their legs tangled together and topped with Luke’s dog, who had weaseled in on their cuddle session, not that either of the boys had cared.

It was easy to curl up with Nick in the warm bed, to fall asleep together and wake up knowing the other would be there. It wasn’t like with Michael, where Luke would wake up to a cold, empty bed and know the boy had left yet again because he was afraid, this was real and it was beautiful.

Luke yawned, sliding his arms out from around Nick who only burrowed down deeper into the covers, his nose scrunched up cutely. 

He didn’t want to wake the sleeping boy up, but it seemed he was already waking up himself as he rolled over to face Luke, bedhead flopping messily. “Your arms are warm.” Nick remarked, his voice deep from the sleep.

Luke laughed quietly, lacing his fingers through Nick’s. He didn’t reply, instead just stared at the boy, a million thoughts rolling through his head. “How did I get so lucky to have you?”

“Your mum paid me.” Nick cracked, kissing the tip of Luke’s nose.

He shuttered, snuggling into the pillow beneath his head. “I’m not surprised.”

They joked around for a bit before Nick suggested getting something to eat to which Luke was quick to bound out of the bed and pull clean clothes on.

Luke’s mum was in the kitchen when they walked in, she was making something on the stove top that smelled killer and made Luke’s stomach rumble as well as Nicks. Liz turned to face the boys, shooing them from her kitchen and telling them to get a snack from the pantry.

“But, mum.” Luke whined, pouting as Liz turned her back to her son and continued to cook.

Liz shook her head. “Pantry or nothing.”

And that was that, Luke and Nick were in the pantry a few moments later as Luke rifled through the snacks piled on the shelves before handing Nick a box of cookies and taking a bag of chips. Luke glared at his mother as they walked back through the kitchen and into the living room where Nick flopped down on the floor and opened the box of cookies, and taking a bite of one.

Luke smiled at how content Nick looked. “Do you want to go on a date?”

It was the first time the subject had been brought up and Luke was nervous, but Nick nodded, smiling. “That’d be fun.”

They talked about going to a fair or dinner and a movie but Nick shot each down, claiming they were too cool for the cliche types of dates. Luke was running out of ideas as quick as he was coming up with them.

“Can’t we just get taco’s or something? Something simple.” Nick responded when Luke questioned the boy on what he wanted to do.

Luke nodded, because he loved taco’s and he loved that Nick didn’t want some extravagant date that would probably go sour in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so lot's of Luke and Nick in this, huh? I feel like Michael was in this almost too much, even though it's his story/Luke's and it was like they were conjoined or something with how they were always around each other although they were no longer together, I felt it kind of ruined the whole story, so I thought adding more Nick and Luke would benefit their relationship in the eyes of the readers and would break away from constant Michael and Luke drama.
> 
> I didn't plan for this to be at all mushy but Nick and Luke are so cute together like awh, I love them. And Michael and Ashton weren't supposed to kiss, they weren't supposed to be anything more than fwb and then I was like, no, this can work to benefit everyone! and so here we are.
> 
> I think I've decided the ending of the story, although I'm not sure yet and it could change through any chapter, which, there will probably be around 10 chapters altogether, no promises though because it might end earlier if things pan out well.
> 
> Raise your hand if you're a Michael & Ashton shipper, because I am. They're my favourite pairing after Michael and Luke, hehe, and I think, honestly, that their relationship has come a long way (although they're just friends, who knows what the future holds though) and I think Lauren and Harry being there adds a lot of things to their situation that they hadn't dealt with before.
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I did writing it; it was one of my favourites.
> 
> Also, Nick is so easy going and calm about everything and I know a lot of you are like 'wut, no.' and I want you to see that Luke isn't going to go for a guy that could be anything like Michael was, overbearing, controlling, whatever you want to call it, Luke isn't looking for it. But Michael's changed, so who knows now; it's anyone's game.
> 
> This was also a very spontaneous chapter because I had so many ideas today and I just sat down and started typing and it was like word vomit so things might jump around a bit and I'm sorry about that.
> 
> Comment's are lovely and very much so appreciated; i love, love, love hearing from your guys on your opinion and thoughts about the chapters!
> 
> Kudos are welcome, but of course no pressure..
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed,
> 
> You can expect a new chapter before the start of next week, but until then.
> 
> Have a wonderful week/weekend!
> 
> Much love,
> 
> x


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael's babysitting and Luke shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I promised to get a chapter out by tonight and I did! Although its 11:40 haha, still, I have 20 minutes to spare before tomorrow!
> 
> This is a pretty short chapter, I'm having some writers block, or at least I was, but I think I've got my plot fixed now.
> 
> Anyway, I hope everyone had a lovely weekend and I hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Don't forget to check out my end notes too! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Ashton's hair was soft and fluffy, and possibly Michael's favourite thing in the world to play with when watching a movie. 

It wasn't like the older man didn't like it, so it was a win-win scenario either way. So Michael kept his hands on Ashton's head, with his fingers twirling around the crazy curls, and Ashton leaned into his touch, his eyes focused on the movie. 

Michael could hear Harry reading out loud to Lauren in the kitchen, and her correcting him every few words. 

"This is the best soundtrack I've heard in thirty years." Ashton said softly, his voice barely carrying over the movie.

Michael nodded; trust Ashton to enjoy the music more than the movie. 

"Are you hungry?" Ashton questioned, glancing away from the movie and towards Michael, an eyebrow raised when he saw Michael's staring at him.

Michael nodded again, looking away. He couldn't help it, Ashton looked happy and content with Michael's fingers twisting his curls around, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the older man look like this for more than a few hours. 

"What?" Ashton nudged Michael's leg teasingly and the boy looked over to him. Ashton stood up, Michael's hand dragging from his hair softly until it fell onto the younger boys lap.

They stared at each other for a few seconds until Michael cleared his throat and Ashton's eyes shot over to the kitchen doorway where Lauren and Harry could be heard giggling at whatever they were reading. 

"I'll go make some popcorn." Ashton murmured moving into the kitchen. 

Michael paused the movie and stood up, stretching. His shoulders ached from the position he had been laying in and his back felt like it needed to be cracked. He rubbed his eyes roughly and yawned before shuffling into the kitchen after Ashton. 

"Having any trouble?" Michael leaned against Lauren's chair, pretending to look over her shoulder while he stared at Ashton moving around the kitchen almost gracefully. 

Harry grumbled softly. "There are a lot of big words." 

Michael laughed as Harry closed the book and pouted. 

"Can we come watch movies instead?" 

"Did you read a chapter?" Ashton asked, placing the air popper on the counter and turning to face the trio at the table. His eyes locked on Michael who was still staring, not bothering to even look fazed. 

Harry huffed loudly. "Loz said I had to read three!" He glared at his sister, shaking his head when she started giggling. 

Michael chuckled softly and ran his hand through his hair, mussing it more than he suspected it already was. He pulled out a chair and sat down, watching as Harry tried to shoot daggers with his eyes at his sister. 

~~~

Michael didn't mean to fall asleep on the couch and he really didn't mean to fall asleep on Ashton's lap.

He woke up, his eyes squinty and struggling to adjust to the brightness of the TV, his cheek pressed against Ashton's thigh, the material of his jeans warm against Michael's face. 

"You okay?" Ashton mumbled running his fingers through Michael's hair softly. The older boy was gazing down on him as Harry and Lauren sat on the floor in front of them, watching the movie with rapt attention. He was smiling and Michael couldn't help but return it, yawning gently and praying he hadn't drooled. 

Michael nodded finally, to answer Ashton's question. He moved to sit up only to have a hand press him back down.

"You can sleep. I know you're tired." Ashton said softly, reaching behind his head to pull the throw blanket off of the back of the couch and gently drape over Michael's body. 

Harry was staring now, his mouth open slightly as Ashton covered Michael. When he realised Michael had noticed him, he smiled and leaned back against Ashton's leg, letting out a small, childish sounding sigh.

"What time is it?" He sounded groggy, even to himself. 

Ashton hummed softly. "Quarter to seven."

Michael made a low noise, reaching up to rub his eyes yet again that day. He snuggled down on Ashton's thigh, drawling the blanket tighter around his body; he wasn't cold, but the blanket made him feel like sleeping on Ashton was okay.

"Are you going to stay tonight?"

Michael nodded, closing his eyes. "Carry me to bed when the movies over."

Ashton chuckled softly, petting Michael's head and promising to do so.

~~~

Michael missed Luke. He missed his dorky smile, and his untameable blond hair, and the way he snored and curled up like a ball when he was cold and Michael hadn't get crawled into bed, and he missed Luke's giggle, and horrible fashion taste, and his kisses, but most of all, Michael missed how Luke would mumble that he loved him and meant it. 

Luke wasn't calling often and Michael's heart ached. He was sure him kissing Ashton hadn't been good, but when Luke had said it hadn't bothered him, Michael didn't know what to say or do because it was supposed to mean something when you saw someone one you love with someone else.

He wanted to call Luke; scream and cry, and beg the blond to come back and never leave him again, but he felt that was out of the question, and that terrified him to no end. 

Ashton didn't love him like Michael loved Luke, and everyone knew it. It was platonic and probably shameful, but they had something physical, not something emotional, and Michael needed more than rough touches and messy kisses. 

It felt like a sudden change from how only seven weeks ago, Luke had left Michael behind for almost the exact same reasons Michael was craving Luke's self. Michael was in Luke's shoes, and he hated it to no end. 

"Can we go to the park today?" Harry was in Michael's face, his eyes wide and questioning, and he looked poised to poke Michael in the face.

Michael jerked back slightly, because this kid was a ninja. He would appear out of nowhere and scare the car out of Michael, and he couldn't figure out how to stop the kid. 

"Sure, does Lauren want to go?" Michael was on the floor, and he couldn't remember for the life of him why he was on the floor, until Harry sat down with him and grabbed his hand.

"Why are you sad, Michael? It's just a toy car, Ash'll get me another." Harry looked like he was trying to comfort Michael, which had the older boy smiling. He pushed the couch back a bit and snatched the red matchbox car out from where it hid. 

"Let's go get your sister and we'll go, okay?" Michael handed Harry the toy and stood up, holding out his hand to the boy.

Harry scurried off towards the kitchen and Michael moved towards his room which Lauren had claimed once she saw Harry had confiscated the living room tv. 

"Do you wanna come with Harry and I to the park?" He leaned against the doorframe, looking in as Lauren giggled at whatever show she was watching, barely turning her head to look back at Michael. 

"Okay." Lauren turned the TV off and stood up, much to Michael's surprise. She smiled at him as the moved towards the front door. 

The three of them left the flat after Harry had put away his toys in their bins that Ashton had given the boy to cart his things to and fro Michael's.

It was warm out, enough for shorts and tank top, and Michael was regretting leaving the flat in jeans and a black shirt. Harry and Lauren were running ahead, skipping and giggling, and Michael found himself laughing when Harry came running back and grabbed his hand, pulling him along. 

"Can you help me on the monkey bars?" Harry asked as they neared the park. Lauren had moved back towards them and was now gushing on about swings and how she'd launched herself 'like 400 feet in the air' once. 

Michael promised to help Harry, pushing the kids ahead when the park was only a few feet away. He watched as they ran around, playing on the slides and swings, laughing. 

"I thought I saw you over here but I wasn't sure if my eyes were playing tricks on me."

Michael shook his head slowly. "Bet you never thought you'd see me at a playground when I could be playing video games."

Luke chuckled and sat down besides him. "Never in a million years."

Michael smiled, glancing over at the boy. He looked tired and worn out; but when didn't he recently? Michael wondered where Nick was but didn't question it because they had 'that kind of relationship'.

But still, Luke looked like shit and Michael was worried. He looked over at the kids to see them on the swings, probably having a competition as to who could go higher.

"Are you and Ashton a thing?" Luke asked and Michael looked back over at him in question.

He shook his head, hoping he didn't seem saddened by that or anything because he wasn't.

"Nick and I broke up." Luke paused, looking at the wood chips under his feet and shuffling them around a bit. He gave a humourless chuckle. "He told I wasn't really happy. Because you know, he knows everything about me, from the freckles on my back to how I goddamn feel."

Michael didn't respond, he couldn't, he didn't know what to say.

"I told him he didn't know what being unhappy was and he yelled that he was unhappy." Luke shook his head. "I wasn't really happy either, I just acted like I was because everyone expected me to be."

"I'm sorry." Michael wasn't apologising for what had happened between Luke and Nick, and both boys knew it. 

Luke sighed, sounding utterly defeated. "I forgive you; I think I forgave you a while ago, I just never told you."

Michael wasn't mad, he was thankful Luke wasn't going to hate him for what ha happened between them, forever. 

"He was too nice, anyway. I need an asshole that keeps me on my toes, in my life."

Michael chuckled, glancing over at the kids once again. They were still swinging so Michael didn't worry. Harry waved, catching Michael's eye before he turned away.

"I'm tired, Michael."

Michael looked over at Luke. "I know."

"You don't know." Luke shook his head. "I'm so tired of running from my feelings because I'm afraid, I'm so sick of trying to avoid you and shit, I want to be with you."

Michael sighed, standing up. "You're running in circles, Luke."

The blond shook head head, leaning back. "It's been a long time coming."

Michael looked over at the kids again before taking two tentative steps towards them. He'd promised Harry to help him on the monkey bars and right now he needed an excuse to break away from this conversation.

"Can we try again?"

Michael froze because Luke had never been as blunt as he was right now and honestly, Michael wasn't sure what to say.

"I mean unless you're over it, which I completely understand." Luke was rambling, and Michael could picture how red his face was, and the way his eyes were probably downcast, and his feet were most likely messing up the wood chips more. 

"I'm not over it." Michael mumbled, not bothering to turn back to face the blond. He watched Harry jump from his swing and Lauren follow after. They ran to the slides, pushing at each other to get there first. 

"Look at me." Luke said, his voice weaker than before. 

Michael shook his head. He couldn't turn around, he knew Luke would look like an utter wreck and things would be said that couldn't be taken back, and while he was perfectly fine with that, he knew Luke was in a slump of not being able to rationalise his decisions, whether they were right or wrong. 

"Michael, please."

And Michael was so weak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was like my favourite chapter after 4 because woah, I think a lot of things are starting to fall together.
> 
> We all know what's going to happen now, hehe, there's no way to deny it, but I'm hoping to still surprise you all before the end of the story.
> 
> I was planning on making this Luke's POV but then I would've had to write the break up scene and I have no idea how that would've went so Michael's it was. Also, Michael POV was focused on the kids because they're really important to the story line. 
> 
> No major Mashton in this chapter :(
> 
> But still, there was a bit in the beginning. 
> 
> Also, the last line... Weeeu look familiar? Idk that was a random thing to add in and I hope it shows how emotionally raw Michael is now that Luke sounding weak just makes Michael have this need to be there to comfort. 
> 
> There's kind of a lot more to happen so the next few chapters leading to the end should be longer, therefore it'll take me a bit more time to write them out so no new chapter for a few days, but hopefully by Friday I'll upload, no promises though, these upcoming weeks are hectic. BUT I may upload earlier, so keep your eyes peeled!
> 
> Tell me what you thought of the chapter and leave kudos if you enjoyed!
> 
> I love you all very much and I hope you all have wonderful weeks!
> 
> Much love,
> 
> x


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rainy days and holding hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I just want to say to disregard my last chapter's end note because this chapter is shorter than I had planned but I couldn't drag out the contents anymore than I already have.
> 
> This is a really cute chapter, I think, and I hope you all do too.
> 
> I'll have another note at the end, feel free to check it out!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!!

“We can’t play these games anymore, Michael.” Luke was rubbing his face, almost like he was trying to scrub his heartache away.

Harry yelled for Michael, and the boys small body crashed into Michael’s, jolting him back. Michael’s arms wrapped around the child's shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

Harry shook his head. “ You look sad and I need help with the monkey bars.”

Michael nodded and took Harry’s hand.

“Michael, please.” Luke was pleading and it felt like knives in his heart.

Michael shook his head slowly. “I can’t do this now, Luke.”

“Please...” He sounded so broken.

Michael let Harry pull him over to Lauren, who was swinging on the monkey bars. He looked back and Luke was sitting on the bench, staring after Michael.

He helped Harry climb the ladder and grab the swinging bars one by one. He kept looking over at Luke, their eyes catching and Michael looked away. Eventually Harry grew bored, and he and Lauren moved to the swings again.

Michael moved back to Luke and sat down next to him. “Sorry.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the kids playing.

“Can we try again?” Luke questioned softly. Michael could see him twisting his fingers around nervously. “Please.”

“No.” Michael shook his head slowly. “You’re not ready for another relationship.”

Luke seemed to disagree, shaking his head quickly and reaching for Michael’s hands. The blond boy was staring at him with a look of intensity that Michael had never seen nor felt before, and it made him uncomfortable. “If we don’t live now, we’ll never have the chance again.”

Michael felt like he was living in a movie with how Luke was spouting philosophical lines, but he knew that the younger boy was right, and it scared him more than it should’ve. “I don’t want to rush into things, Luke. You just broke up with Nick, has it even been a week?” Michael shook his head yet again. “If we rush into this now instead of waiting and it all goes bad, what then?”

He looked over to see the kids walking over towards them, both with happy smiles on their faces. 

Luke sighed and ruffled his hair.

“We need to be friends before anything else.” Michael stood up, waiting for the kids. “Do you want to come get lunch with us?”

Harry grabbed Michael’s hand in his own much smaller one and smiled up at his babysitter while Lauren stood next to him, waiting. “Are we leaving now?”

Michael nodded, “Luke?”

The blond boy shook his head, looking distressed and weary, and Michael’s heart ached for him.

But he didn’t say anything when Luke turned, walked away from Michael, and didn’t look back.

~~~

Three days. It took three days for Michael to call Luke, and when the boy finally answered with a sleepy, “eh hello?” Michael all but dropped dead on the kitchen floor in his flat.

“Luke? Hi, it’s Michael.” He didn’t know why he was introducing himself when Luke could probably recognise his voice in a crowded stadium.

Luke made a few gurgling sounds, like he wasn’t yet fully awake and was trying to pull himself together.

Michael took Luke’s lack of words as a chance to speak before the blond could interrupt. “I know I was a complete dick at the park and I’m really sorry, I love you, a lot, and I really want to be with you, but you and Nick just broke up and I don’t want you throwing yourself into a relationship with me like I’m some sort of rebound because I want what we have to be genuine and real because, Jesus Christ, Luke I could spend the rest of my life with you and have no regrets, and I just don’t want to fuck up again.” Michael wasn’t sure Luke could understand what he was saying as he rambled on, trying in the worst way to justify why he’d turned Luke down, even though he probably didn’t need to do so.

"Mmm what?" Luke yawned, and Michael could picture him rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Michael?"

And Michael was sighing because Luke was such a dork, a sleepy, annoying dork that couldn't pay attention when he was half asleep, and Michael loved him for that. "Why don't you call me back when you're proper awake?" Michael suggested, wanting nothing more than to figure this whole thing out. 

"No no, I'm awake." Luke yawned once more but Michael chose to ignore it. "I want that too."

The older boy laughed softly because Luke sounded so confused, it tickled Michael's heart. "Come over."

And he heard Luke suck in a deep breath, mumbling out a quick 'ok' and then the line went dead.

~~~

Michael made himself toast while waiting for Luke to show up. It was his comfort food and he knew he didn’t have enough time to make tea, and he didn’t want Luke to think he had a headache and start worrying for nothing.

As he munched on the crisp toast, he thought about the future, his feelings, how he hadn’t watered his radermachera sinica, and how he needed to call Lauren and make sure she was watering her plant, too.

He could picture waking up with Luke everyday, their limbs entangled, pillows warm from their heads, and just Luke being there with him first thing when he opened his eyes. It wasn’t hard really, they’d be able to cuddle and kiss, snuggle and make love, whatever they wanted to do was right at their fingertips because they’d be together.

Michael heard the door opening and was silently pleased that Luke hadn’t knocked like a stranger. He moved into the living room, dragging his feet because he was nervous as hell.

Luke stood, rain water dripping from his limp, blond hair, a bewildered look on his face. “It literally started down pouring as I walked up the street.”

Michael shook his head as Luke pulled off his sweatshirt and gave him a sheepish smile. “Could I borrow some clothes?”

~~~

Michael’s t-shirt swallowed the boy up, shockingly enough with his broad shoulders and spansive upper body, but Michael found it completely endearing because Luke looked tiny and fragile, and Michael just wanted to hug the hell out of him.

“Do you want a cup of tea?” Michael asked, watching Luke towel dry his hair so it fell messily against his forehead. 

The blond nodded, and Michael smiled, moving towards the kitchen to set a kettle on the stovetop. He could hear Luke shuffling behind him, and turned back to smile at him. 

“Hi,” Luke smiled, still fussing about with his hair.

Michael smiled back, “Hi Lukey.”

"Hi." Luke repeated, moving to lean on the kitchen counter. 

Michael chuckled softly, pulling a bottle of honey and the sugar jar from one of the cabinets and setting them on the table. "How are you?"

Luke shrugged, watching Michael bustle about the kitchen. "I'm okay."

And Michael knew how that felt because he'd been ok for the past few weeks if even that much, and it sucked. 

"I miss you, a lot." Luke mumbled, looking vulnerable. He was giving himself sweater paws and Michael could picture his footing, with one partially on top of the other and his knees knocking softly because balance wasn't Luke's strong point. "Like, you don't understand."

But Michael understood quite well, and they both knew so. 

~~~

Michael hadn't planned on getting Luke in his bed, and he honestly didn't think it would've been because the boy fell asleep on the couch in the middle of the movie they had turned on. He knew Luke hated sleeping on the couch because his neck was always stiff afterwards and he was super whiny because of sleeping while sitting up, so Michael was quick to carry the blond boy into his room and tuck him under the covers before Michael went back into the kitchen to clean up the teapot and cups. 

It was quiet while he washed everything up, and he found himself enjoying it, because he knew he had the boy he loved in his bed for him and not a cold empty room.

He made sure to water his plant before turning the kitchen light off and shuffling into the bathroom for a shower. The faint sound of Luke chattering in his sleep could be heard and Michael's heart did cartwheels because he missed the noises dearly. 

~~~

Making the decision to crawl into bed with Luke wasn't one he made himself, instead it was Luke who was sitting up, with half closed eyes and pouty lips, looking for Michael. 

"Come cuddle me." Luke whined, reaching his arms out and squinting at Michael who shook his head teasingly and wondered if this was all moving too fast. 

There was a moment where Michael had to question if he really cared. He decided he didn’t; it was too late at night to have qualms about miniscule things like this, and frankly Michael was too tired and too happy to have Luke wanting to cuddle him, to honestly worry about if it was a good idea.

So Michael crawled in the cold bed, shifting over towards Luke’s outstretched arms where he burrowed into the soft body that Michael had missed more than anything in the world. Luke was warm and the blankets surrounding him were warm and it made Michael think about when they’d first started dating, how Luke was always in bed early, and he would wait up for Michael to finish his papers, and they’d talk in small voices because they were always afraid of their neighbours hearing their plans for the future; the big house in the suburbs with maroon shutters because they’d fallen in love with it and had deemed it ‘their colour’, and a spacious kitchen where Michael and Luke could shuffle around in the early mornings, trying to get ready for work and get their kids off to school on time, and a greenhouse so Michael could grow all the plants he wanted and Luke could set up a library in there too, off to the side so the books wouldn’t be affected by the damp atmosphere, and they could grow plants and read and be together through it all, and when the kids got home from school and wanted to play outside they’d go out as a family and play ball, or climb a tree or even play in the playhouse they’d set up. And at night, when the kids were asleep and Michael was just dozing off, Luke would kiss his cheek and tell him he was going to get them a dog tomorrow because all children deserve to have a pet, and Michael would laugh in his deep, rumbly voice and say he thought that was a fantastic idea.

It was the memories of what they should’ve had right then at that moment that left Michael breathless and fluttery because they could still have it all.

“Goodnight, Michael. I love you.” Luke whispered in his ear, just like old times.

Michael smiled, shutting off the light as Luke pulled him closer. “Goodnight, Luke. I love you too.”

They had plenty of troubles to sort out, and words that Michael needed to say and hear because Luke was here, and he was soft, and warm, and he wanted to be with Michael. He took Luke’s hands in his own and tangled their fingers together, because Luke was his, and heard Luke mumble in appreciation, Michael’s heart fluttered in anticipation for everything that would be coming soon.

And later on, when he could hear Luke snoring lightly, his arms still tight around Michael’s body, the older boy would smile again and close his eyes because slowly it was all falling together, and it was smooth and careful because they didn’t need to rush, they had no titles for each other but they were together, their relationship was complex and thoughtful, but it was also sweet and pleasant, and it was completely and utterly them, and Michael needed a little more of just them in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> This was a weird chapter; it was a follow up to the last and it was... at the beginning, and then it went a little haywire, but I thought it was adorable (if i do say so myself) there was A LOT of Michael and Luke floating around in here and I really tried to pull together a relationship without the labels, just like, I don't know, the basics of what they'd had before everything went south. I also tried to put it out there that Michael wasn't always a jerk, and that Luke and him had plans for what they wanted in their future, and I hope it wasn't too sappy or anything.
> 
> I know it's a bit cliche, i guess you could say, but I think the chapter itself had a lot of character and really really showed Luke and Michael as a couple, I honestly don't know.
> 
> I really don't know what to say now because this was a really weird but awh chapter, and I really really love it, I hope you guys did too!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed. I won't be posting the next chapter probably until next week, lots of schoolwork and graduation planning to get done.
> 
> Tell me what you thought, and leave kudos if you enjoyed! I love hearing what you guys think!!
> 
> Have a wonderful week!
> 
> Much love,
> 
> x


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was startling to Michael, to be able to feel as strong as feelings as he felt towards Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol, wow, so i wrote this last night when I got home from work and then this morning before I went back to work, and it's utter poop and I'm pretty sure a bunch of you guys aren't going to be too pleased because it totally went against the rest of the story, kind of.
> 
> I liked this chapter a lot though, and I really hope you guys do too! I added a bunch more tags because there was a lot of stuff not covered previously.
> 
> Enjoy!

It was late, probably close to twelve, and Michael was sitting in the kitchen, papers spread across the table. The words were jumbled and nothing made sense, and Michael was ready to give up because he was tired, more than usual, and he really just wanted to snuggle into bed with Luke, and never wake up.

And Michael blamed his thinking completely on the blond boy because his cuddles were to die for, and he gave off this warmth that sucked him in.

So he packed up his papers, not caring that they weren’t in order, because he’d deal with it all tomorrow morning after he got up, and turned off the kitchen light, moving slowly towards the bedroom because he wasn’t sure if Luke was awake still and he didn’t want to wake the boy if he was.

Three seemed to be a recurring number in Michael and Luke’s life; three chairs around the kitchen table, three bay windows, three days for phone calls, and three months until they’d started dating again. He assumed it was their lucky number, and couldn’t help but laugh because out of everything that had happened, they’d found something us to add to their collection of things that were ‘theirs’. 

He could hear the TV in their room, and the faint sound of Luke giggling, which warmed Michael’s heart to no end. 

“Come here.” Luke caught Michael’s eye with a smile and the older boy shuffled over to the blond who patted the bed. “Sit down.”

So Michael sat, folding his hands in his lap and staring at his boyfriend. “What’s up, Lukey?”

The blonde shrugged, the blankets around his torso falling a bit in the process. Michael reached out, brushing his fingers along Luke’s skin softly, looking the boy in the eye.

They hadn’t been extremely physical since getting back together and although Michael’s whole being was shouting for him to do more than run his fingers along the boys skin, he refrained because Luke would go to him when he was ready. But then Luke was biting his lower lip, stomach tensing under Michael’s touch, and his own hand going to the older boys.

“Please.” Luke murmured, tracing Michael’s hand with his fingertip. He was leaning up in bed, blue eyes wide and darker than usual. He looked hungry for Michael’s touch, and the older boy couldn’t help but revel in the fact.

Michael shook his head, noting that he shut his boyfriend down a lot more than he agreed with him. It almost felt like they were rushing something that should've happened naturally, randomly, and when the time was right, and now just didn't feel like it was perfect.

As if Luke could sense Michael's thoughts he spoke up, sounding slightly annoyed. "No, Michael, please."

He was pleading and they both knew Michael couldn't say no when he pleaded and pouted.

"Maybe we could just make out?" Michael felt like he was compromising with a toddler with how Luke looked ready to throw a fit.

The blond shook his head quickly, crawling out from under the covers and over to Michael. His pyjama pants were low on his hips, enough that Michael could see almost where the faint trail of dirty blond hair ended and the front of his pants were taut, the weight of his cock pressing against them; and Michael was struggling to keep his mouth closed and not let any drool out, because damn, Luke looked so good. 

"I don't want to 'just make out' Michael, I want you to make love to me." Luke had his hands on Michael's thighs. He was close enough that their noses brushed when Luke talked or one of them took too deep of a breath.

Michael wasn't exactly sure of what to say. They'd never actually made love before, it had always been just fucking with messy confessions and 'I love you', but the thought of making love to the boy he loved sounded nice, probably more than nice judging by the huge smile Michael felt on his face. 

Luke continued talking, his voice barely above a whisper. "Please, Michael, I need you so bad."

And who was Michael to deny Luke?

~~~

He wasn't used to the intimate touch that came with being in a relationship with Luke. The soft kisses, small caresses of big hands that pleaded for more attention as they slid over Michael's skin, and the torn sounds that escaped from both of their mouths. While they'd experienced it all before, there was a higher level of intimacy, probably because what they had now was stronger than what they'd had before and they were planning on experiencing it all to the fullest. 

They were both sitting up, facing each other. Michael's shirt was on the floor at the side of the bed and his jeans were unbuttoned. He felt like he was dying with how Luke's hands spread across his torso, skimming across the pale white skin of his tummy and over the column of his neck; it was like the first touch all over again and Michael was living in it. 

Luke made a small sound, his head tipping to the side slightly as he watched Michael lean into his touch, his fingers on his neck, soft and teasing. 

Words didn't seem to be a main part of this, not that Michael minded as he wasn't very good with them anyway, but it all felt a bit strange to not hear Luke rambling on. Or even tearing at his clothes. 

The television buzzed and Luke leaned in, his eyes wide and calculating, and his lips parted slightly; he looked devastatingly handsome, and completely in tune with everything going on. 

Michael waited for Luke's lips to meet his but they landed on his cheek, soft and wet, and completely Luke. He had missed this, the way Luke left open mouthed kisses to his face, because that was what Luke did and Michael loved every second of it, even when he claimed it was horrible as he wiped the saliva off of his cheek and shot a playful glare to the blond.

"I thought we were making love, Luke." Michael's voice was gruffer than he'd expected it to be and he noticed Luke's eyes widening a fraction more and his body lurching forward some as if attuned to the deepness. 

He knew Luke liked teasing, it was probably the only thing the boy did on a regular basis, and it drove Michael absolutely nuts. But he also knew that Luke was weak when it came to Michael, whether it be his kisses or his touch, maybe even his words, Luke was there soaking it all up, just like with Michael's statement only moments before, so when Luke thought he had the upper hand, he was wrong, because Michael would come back with a vengeance the blond would fall to his knees, thoroughly fucked and wrecked.

"Is that what you want?" Luke asked, confident smile on his face as he ran his hand down Michael's torso to the top of his boxers. His fingers slid into the waistband and pulled the piece of clothing away from Michael's creamy skin.

They were staring at each other and Michael found himself struggling to not pin the blond down with kisses. He shivered when Luke's fingertips brushed his cock and the boys face was overtaken by a smirk. 

Luke ran his fingers along Michael's length gently before pulling his hand from the boxers, listening to the soft snap of the elastic falling against Michael's skin.

The older boy made an unpleased sound as Luke's hands moved to his own body, running along his tummy and into his pyjama pants. Michael swallowed loudly when Luke lifted his hips and slid his bottoms off, his cock springing softly to his stomach, flushed pink and the tip glistening slightly. 

His pants landed somewhere near the television, that much Michael knew, but his gaze was now trained on Luke's hand as he slid it up and down his length, eyes locked on Michael's face. 

There was something disgustingly graceful about how Luke snapped his wrist so gently and effortlessly, but looked almost wrecked, and Michael couldn't stay still any longer, he wanted to be touched... To touch. 

He moved slowly, feeling like time was slowed as he pushed Luke's hand away and moved to kneel in front of the blond boy. He could feel Luke's eyes on him but he didn't care as he took the younger boys length in his hand and stroked it slowly, revelling in the thick, heaviness that felt so amazing in his grasp. He looked up at Luke, who was staring down, mouth parted like he was talking but no words came out, and leaned in, licking the underside of Luke's cock and almost crying because Luke let out a moan that could've made thousands of people come right then and there. 

Luke was gripping the sheets tightly, his fists almost as white as the material he held and Michael knew he was holding back from taking Michael's hair in his grasp and thrusting himself into the older boys mouth. 

But maybe Michael was completely okay with that and really hoped Luke would give up on restraint and fuck his mouth like they both knew and wanted Luke to do.

Michael took him into his mouth, watching as Luke's head fell back, lolling on his shoulders and his hands clenched rapidly. He ran his hands along Luke's thighs a few times, feeling them tense because Luke loved to be touched when he had his cock buried in someone's throat. He ran his fingers over Luke's knuckles, and starting prying them from the sheets; when Luke didn't let go Michael pulled off of him to speak. "Let go, Luke."

The blond shook his head slowly and Michael frowned. Luke's grip loosened slightly and Michael took that moment to pull at his fingers again. This time Luke let go, his fingers clenching around air for a moment before going to Michael's hair. The older boy almost immediately took Luke's cock back into his mouth, running his tongue along the sides of it as he waited for Luke to lose his patience and fuck his mouth.

And Luke did; he let out a soft moan that could only be classified as 'innocent pornstar quality' and pushed Michael's head down roughly as he thrusted up into the wetness. 

From that moment on Michael was no longer a functioning human with functioning brain cells; he was in a trance of the sounds Luke made and the feeling of having him use his mouth.

"I--I'm gonna.." Luke choked out the words and Michael was barely listening, and really didn't care because he was dying to have a taste of the blond. 

Luke's hands were tight in Michael's hair, holding his mouth where it was as if he was afraid Michael would move and not let him come, and it was pretty hot how Luke was moaning Michael's name when he came, finally letting go of Michael's hair and peeking up as he finished to see Michael, hair untamed and completely flustered with come dripping down his chin, and Luke groaned.

Michael sat up and slid his hand into his pants, pumping at himself only to have Luke swat his hand away and shoot a nasty glare his way.

"Make. Love. To. Me." Luke demanded, pushing Michael onto his back and clambering on top of him. "I'm so fucking horny right now, Michael, don't fucking fuck with me."

It was hot as hell listening to Luke swear while he was on top of him, and Michael wished he could record the whole thing for future use when he needed to jerk one out and was all alone.

And Michael felt Luke's hand go into his pants again, stroking him through his boxers. He held in a sound that he thought would be a whimper but wasn't really sure about.

"You're going to need to take your pants off."

Now Luke was just playing dirty. He was grinding down on Michael, his hand still working at him slightly, and it took everything Michael had to not stare at Luke's cock, which was growing harder again, and throw him to the floor to just fuck him already.

But that wasn't what this was, this was torturous love making and it would be soft and sensual, and Michael was struggling to process everything floating through his mind because Luke was pulling at his jeans.

Michael lifted his hips so Luke could pull his pants off. The blond tossed them on the floor and climbed back on Michael, who wondered when Luke had gotten off.

They stared at each other and Luke stroked Michael's cock softly, his hands smooth and soft.

And then Luke was next to Michael, his face on the mattress and Michael was fully aware of what the blond was looking for; fingers. 

He sat up, watching as Luke raised his ass in the air, his eyes looking at Michael for reassurance, who put two fingers in his mouth and wet them nicely before spreading Luke's pale cheeks and staring at the puckered pink hole.

Things were different than before and Michael looked at it as everything was different, so much to the point where activities needed to change to suit the lifestyle, and people, so Michael adjusted.

His pressed one finger to Luke's exposed hole and pushed in, nearly groaning at the loud whimper that left Luke's mouth. Instead of moving the finger, he leaned in and licked a stripe over his hole delicately. 

Luke choked out a mouthful of words Michael couldn't understand as he thrusted back onto Michael's finger and tongue, his body squirming and his head hanging down between his arms. He was struggling to ride Michael's tongue, small pants and whimpers coming from his mouth, and his arms moving rapidly as he searched for something he could grip.

Michael worked his finger into the boy, almost crying at how tight and warm he was around his digit. He sucked and nibbled at the hole, wiggling his tongue at different intervals than his finger, and the blond was pushing himself back onto him almost forcefully. 

And all too soon Michael was pushing in another finger, the hairs on his neck standing on end when Luke let out a loud, needy moan, rearing his head back to look Michael in the eye, his own blown wide and filled with need. He was still panting and mouthing incomprehensible words, which Michael found completely endearing, and couldn't help but reach up with his free hand and trace the boys lips with his fingers before plunging two in.

Luke sucked at his fingers greedily, and Michael thought his heart was going to beat right out of his chest with how Luke swirled his tongue around the digits and mouthed at the base of his fingers languidly. Michael bit his lip lightly, thrusting the fingers in Luke’s ass a bit faster and watching as the blond groaned loudly, his eyes rolling shut. Luke was clawing at the sheets now, lips around Michael’s fingers, and eyes wide and pleading; Michael knew what for too, he just felt a little unrelenting.

Michael pulled his fingers from Luke’s mouth, dragging them down his chin slowly and then pressing the boys back down so his stomach was flat on the bed, ass still high in the air. He wasn’t sure if Luke was ready, and he voiced his concerns to a hazy eyed blond who looked frantic for more.

“I am.” Luke nodded, his voice breathless as Michael slid his fingers from inside of the boy. The blond sat up, his arms shaking slightly. He moved to push Michael down onto his back and straddle his lap.

They sat there for a few moments and it was nice.

Michael ran his hands up Luke’s sides softly because he knew his hands were calloused slightly and he didn’t want to roughen up Luke’s soft skin. The blond leaned down, pressing his lips to Michael’s cheek, his nose, his throat, his lips, muttering beneath his breath about how much he loved him.

And Michael wanted to cry because it was all so lovely and peaceful, and he felt consumed by everything happening in those moments.

Their lips met again and this time Michael was the one whispering ‘I love you’s and Luke was fisting his hands through Michael’s messy hair, holding him close.

Michael rolled them over, shifting around into a more comfortable position, his eyes roaming the blond boy’s body.

Luke gripped Michael’s chin, pulling his gaze to his eyes. He had a look of adoration and determination setting fire to the blue pupils that stared up at Michael, and the older boy felt himself melting even more than he thought possible. “Please make love to me.”

His voice was soft, pliable even, and Michael couldn’t say no, he didn’t want to. He rolled his hips slightly, trying to line himself up with the boy’s hole. He pushed in, tightness surrounding him.

Luke breathed in deeply, his eyes partially shut. His hands were loose around Michael’s upper arms, and his legs were moving to wrap around Michael’s waist the farther he pushed in.

He was so tight and warm, Michael was shuddering almost immediately because Luke was his in every aspect and he was so happy. It took a few minutes of Michael pressing in slowly before he bottomed out and Luke let out a small huff of air, his chest rising and falling rapidly. His legs were now tight around Michael’s waist, holding them flush against each other.

“I love you.” Michael whispered, because saying it too loud didn’t feel as intimate as saying it softly into his lovers ear.

And Luke smiled before mumbling, “I love you too.”

Michael began thrusting slowly, and Luke bit his lower lip. It was startling to Michael, to be able to feel as strong as feelings as he felt towards Luke.

Their bodies melted together, skin sliding almost perfectly, and their lips caught once again, teasing more than ever before. Luke was hard against Michael’s tummy, but neither boy did anything about it, and as they moved more and more, faster and faster to the point where Luke’s arms let go of Michael and his head tipped back once again, with Michael’s lips pressed to his throat greedily, there was absolutely nothing that could make Michael stop loving Luke, and he didn’t mind, he didn’t mind at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I rushed things, didn't I?
> 
> Urgh, I hope no one hated it because while I didn't say in the story itself that this wasn't something that happened right away, I'll say it now; this was a few weeks later. While a lot of readers don't want rushing in this relationship, there are a lot of relationships out there that need a sexual part to feel like complete (besides just love) and I wanted this to be to the point where they're confident in their relationship and want everything they had before.
> 
> I hope you guys understand!
> 
> Anyway, one last chapter!! It's going to be short probably (like 2000-2500 words) and it'll probably be a crappy ending because it hurts leaving your babies behind, ya feel?
> 
> But let me know what you thought! I love reading your thoughts and opinions!
> 
> Also, kudos if you enjoyed!
> 
> Have a lovely week,
> 
> Much love,
> 
> x


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael made a sound of content and Luke wrapped his arms around Michael’s waist, burying his face into the older boys hair. He’d kept up with dying it brown because Luke seemed to like colour on him, and he liked when Luke was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, last chapter.
> 
> Enjoy guys!

Luke was screaming loudly and Michael's heart was in his throat. He was ninety-nine percent sure the blond was in the bathroom, but he wasn't sure because what the hell would be scream worthy in there?

"What's wrong?" Michael slammed open the bathroom door to see Luke standing on the toilet seat, towel wrapped around his waist and a terrified look on his face.

He pointed a shaky finger at the shower, more specifically the spider peacefully lounging on the side.

Michael shot the blond a look of distaste. "Are you kidding me?"

"Michael." Luke whined, clutching the towel tighter and pouting. "Please kill it."

And Michael was glancing back at the spider, eyes widening slightly. "What? I can't kill it!"

"Yes you can." Luke urged. He was shifting around and Michael swore the seat was going to give out soon with how it was creaking softly under his weight.

Michael shook his head but grabbed a handful of tissues and moved towards the bug.

"No! Don't squish it, flush it down the drain!" Luke was stomping his foot angrily and Michael took a step towards him as the toilet lid snapped from the holding and the blond went tumbling to the floor in a pile of legs and towel.

He squealed as he slid and landed. Michael held in a laugh at the bewildered look on Luke's face.

"Stop laughing and kill the damn bug, Michael!" Luke threw his hands up, thoroughly exasperated. He crawled towards the lid and picked it up, looking at it with wide eyes. "Did I break it?"

Michael moved to turn in the shower head, completely ignoring Luke's question because the boy was an idiot; his idiot but still. He watched the bug flush down the drain, turning off the water to look at Luke whose eyes were wide and nervous. "Is it going to come back up?"

Michael shook his head, moving to pick up the seat. "I'm going to run to the home store and pick up a new lid."

"Give me ten minutes and I'll come with you." Luke whipped his towel off, flinging it in Michael's face as he made a mad dash for the shower, bug obviously forgotten.

~~~

Michael was stirring a pitcher of iced tea when Luke walked in, leaning on the countertop near Michael and watching him.

"Do you want kids?" Luke questioned, his voice was soft as he played with the frayed edges of a dish rag.

Michael paused, looking up with wide eyes because this was extremely random. "I don't know, Luke. They're a lot of work."

Luke shrugged, glancing up. He spoke quietly, whispering like someone else could hear; but that was their thing, whispering about the future because the walls were paper thin. "I want to adopt."

And Michael nodded slowly; what else could he do?

"But I want to get married first."

Michael snapped his gaze up to Luke's, their eyes meeting in a silent conversation that Michael wasn't sure he was even part of.

"One day." Luke whispered softly.

~~~

Two weeks later they brought home the first two members of their family; Felix, the small white kitten Michael had fallen head over heels in love with, and Mango, the teacup husky Luke had pleaded with Michael for.

Michael crawled into bed after making sure Felix and Mango had plenty of food and water and were penned up in the kitchen with their beds.

"I thought marriage came before kids." Michael teased, turning the bedside light off and sliding close to Luke.

Luke shrugged, his shoulder brushing Michael's. "You haven't proposed."

Michael chuckled softly, "I didn't know I wore the pants in this relationship."

Luke slid his arms around Michael's waist, drawing him closer. He didn't respond to Michael's teasing. "This is enough." He was whispering and Michael understood.

They didn't need a big house in the suburbs with maroon shutters and a greenhouse, their small flat with messy, loving memories was enough.

"Mango is going to want to run around." Michael commented, tucking his face in between their pillows. He could smell Luke's shampoo, and it felt like home.

The boy sighed. "Then we'll take her to the park."

And that was that.

~~~

Friday nights consisted of snuggling on the couch, watching movies, or playing board games with Ashton and his siblings who had practically moved in with the man, much to Michael and Luke's pleasure.

Harry was sitting on the couch next to Luke, his legs across Michael's lap, and his head on Luke's chest. The blond was brushing his brown curls, similar to ones on Ashton's head, out of his face as the little boy yawned.

"Time for bed?" Luke asked softly and Michael's heart fluttered because he was so good with the kids, oh god, it made Michael want to have seventeen with him.

Harry shook his head, stretching out slightly. "Not tired."

Michael and Luke shared a look, both knowing the boy was minutes away from falling asleep and Ashton would kill them both if he stayed up too late and was cranky in the morning.

Lauren laid her head on Michael's arm, smiling. "This is a sad movie."

Michael agreed completely and told her so. She giggled and sat up. "I'm tired."

It was a big production getting the kids in bed, especially because Harry was whining about not being tired although his little eyes were slipping shut and he kept yawning.

But Luke promised to make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast and suddenly the boy was completely fine with sleeping; Lauren was already asleep before her head even hit the pillow.

Michael turned a nightlight on and shut the bedside lamp, sliding out of the room with Luke behind him shutting the door.

They slumped against the wall and Luke grabbed his hand tightly. "I want kids."

Michael huffed, looking over at the blond.

Luke stared at him with wide, pleading eyes. "Please, Michael."

The door opened and Harry peeped out. "Can Mango come sleep with us?"

Michael nodded, still focused on Luke's words. The little boy hurried past him to the kitchen to take the puppy to his room where he closed the door with a click and the sound of Harry jumping on the bed followed by a small bark was heard.

"I want kids, Michael." Luke repeated, pulling the older boy towards him, his face void of any emotion besides an award worthy pout.

Michael shook his head; this was too much too quickly. "I... We're not even married, Luke. You said marriage before kids."

Luke shrugged, moving towards the living room. "Let's get married."

"Luke, no," Michael sighed, running a hand through his hair, completely exasperated. "We need time."

And Luke stared at him, clearly thinking over what Michael had said. He didn't look to happy, in fact he looked downright sad, and it hurt Michael's heart.

"Three years." Luke finally said, and Michael knew exactly what he meant.

~~~

Michael didn’t like the outdoors, he never had and probably never would; it was either too hot or cold and the feeling of grass on his skin was horrible. But when Luke had asked him to go for a walk Michael had agreed instantaneously and had leashed up Mango before following the blond into the sunshine filled day.

They walked along quietly, hands clasped. It was warm but breezy and Michael was struggling with how hard the puppy was pulling; it was quite annoying because whenever Luke walked her, she was fine but the second Michael got a hand on her leash she was dragging him down the sidewalk, and it was sad because she was so tiny and he was still getting pulled along.

“Is something wrong?” Michael asked because Luke looked completely distressed and his hand was sweaty.

Luke glanced over, shaking his head slowly. It was obvious something was wrong, and Michael was scared about what it could be.

“Luke.” Michael whispered, his heart was in his throat and everything was moving in slow motion.

“Marry me.” Luke squeezed his hand tightly, his eyes wide and shining with this hope that melted Michael’s heart into a puddle. “Michael, I love you so much.”

He wasn’t on his knee and there wasn’t a ring, but Michael didn’t care. It hadn’t quite been three years, probably only two and a half, and Luke was twenty-one and just as innocent looking as he had been seven years ago when they’d first met, and Michael was even more in love with him than he ever thought possible.

“Okay.” Michael nodded his head slowly, smiling when Luke’s face lit up with a huge grin.

He pulled Michaels body towards him, and pressed their lips together in a soft kiss. Michael shivered when Luke’s hands moved to his neck, gentle and soft, just like everything about Luke was. He didn’t complain when Luke pulled away from him, dragging him and Mango, who had been very content napping in the grass, towards their flat, barely paying attention to anything besides his obvious thrill.

~~~

Michael had barely taken Mango’s leash off when Luke pressed him against the kitchen counter, his fingers digging in Michael’s hips roughly. They stared at each other, both breathing hard and Michael suspected their pupils were dilated.

“All mine.” Luke whispered, biting his lower lip softly.

Michael nodded in agreement and Luke tipped his head in to Michael’s neck, his lips playing around on the soft, pale skin of Michael’s throat. It seemed Luke liked to mark Michael’s throat up to the point where blueish- purple bruises were scattered about and nobody even dared doubt they were together, but that was Michael’s opinion.

He liked it though, a lot. How Luke could toy with him so easily, knew everything about him, what he liked, didn’t like, his ticklish spots, and that he absolutely loved Luke’s lips on him. Michael processed things slower than usual when it came to Luke and he was sure it was because of all they’d been through and the amount of sacrifices and slow but steady hands it took them to even reach where they were now, but through his thinking he realised a few things; Luke sometimes used his shampoo, and he was sure it smelled ten times better on the blond, they didn’t have to talk to communicate, sometimes words weren’t enough or just too much and they needed simplicity, and he was completely head over heels for him, so much to the point where if Luke asked him to die for him, he’d do it. He wanted to please him, he wanted to pull Luke to him as tightly as possible and never let go, he wanted the body heat, the soft touches, the needy kisses, the messy, intimate love making, even the bad cooking.

Everything Luke had to give, Michael needed, and the blond boy was more than willing to hand it all over.

~~~

Relationships were messy, they were stupid at times and made you want to pull your hair out and glue it to your eyeballs, but Michael didn’t mind at all. He liked when they fought and Luke would slam the doors and cabinets, and Felix and Mango would hide in their room until Luke coaxed them out with treats, apologising to the little pets that had no idea what was going on. He liked it even more when Luke would go to him, a pout on his face and apologise, whether he was right or wrong in the situation, and he liked the cuddling that came after it where they talked about Michael’s radermachera sinica and the new books Luke bought that day, and when they’d move around the kitchen, bumping hips and getting in each others way as they struggled to make their meals, and Luke would laugh and bring up how hard it would be with kids running around, and Michael knew that the blond didn’t care if he had to step on nails to make his kids breakfast, he’d do it and be happy.

And that was about the time Michael realised that he was engaged, and that they’d be fathers soon, and there would be little footsteps running around the flat, and Harry and Lauren would have sleepovers with their kids, and Jesus, Michael was getting married.

“We’re getting married.” Michael’s heart was racing as his eyes flickered to Luke, who was washing dishes in the sink, humming along to the quiet tune rolling out of the radio on the windowsill.

The blond nodded. He smiled at Michael softly, and shut the water before drying his hands on a dish rag. “Yep, only four months now.”

Michael made a sound of content and Luke wrapped his arms around Michael’s waist, burying his face into the older boys hair. He’d kept up with dying it brown because Luke seemed to like colour on him, and he liked when Luke was happy.

They were expecting Ashton and the kids soon for dinner, but neither one wanted to be the first to let go.

But Michael broke away, pressing a kiss to the blonds forehead, although he had to lean up on his tiptoes to do so. He didn’t mind; he liked Luke was taller because that meant Luke would spoon him, because the big spoon was always the taller one, and it wasn’t like Luke minded, as long as they switched up every once in a while, which they did.

~~~

Ashton was to be a groomsman in the wedding; he’d threatened to drop them both if he wasn’t, and neither boy had any issues with him being one.

It was funny to Michael, to look back at the past and realise that Luke and Ashton had went from hating each other for the stupidest reasons to being friendly, able to joke around, and hang out simply because they wanted to. He was sure Luke loving Harry and Lauren had a lot to do with it as the kids were pretty picky when it came to people but had latched onto Luke almost automatically when they found out he would be around a lot more, but he wouldn’t ask Ashton because he knew the older man would deny any and everything said about it.

The pile of papers in front of Michael was small but he wasn’t in the mood to get organised, he wanted to go cuddle with his fiance in their nice warm bed because it was way too early for him to be up on a Sunday and he knew Luke would be pouty when he woke up and realised Michael wasn’t there, and no one liked a pouty Luke. So he left the papers where they were and made his way through the flat to where Luke was curled up on his side facing Michael’s side of the bed, and Felix and Mango were both curled at the bottom on Luke’s feet.

He slid into bed slowly as to not wake the boy, but felt his arms wrap around his waist and pull him close.

“Why do you always leave me in the morning when it’s cold?” Luke grumbled, his face nuzzled in Michael’s neck. The boy rarely slept with a shirt on, but always complained he was cold, and Michael teased him for it over and over again. “You’re supposed to keep me warm.”  
  


Michael loved the way Luke talked in the morning, his voice heavy with sleep and his eyes still closed, like opening them was too much work and he didn’t have the energy. “I came back, didn’t I?”

Luke groaned, obviously not pleased with the answer he was given. “You still left. My soft, warm pillow left me to fend for myself.”

He had to laugh; Luke was a complete baby when he just woke up, complete with grabby hands, small babish sounds that could put a newborn to shame, and legs that would wrap around Michael’s body, like a silent stranglehold screaming ‘I’ll never let go and you can’t make me’. But Michael found it endearing because well, everything about Luke was endearing to Michael and he liked it a lot.

“You’ll have to make it up to me.” Luke mumbled, sounding like he was falling back asleep.

And Michael chuckled, snuggling into the covers. He knew Luke would say this; probably because it happened often and Michael always ended up babying Luke for the day, not that he really minded, but still. “I always make it up to you.”

“I know, but you’ll just have to do it again.”

~~~

Greta was on the invite list, per Luke’s request, and the older woman had become something of a motherly figure to both boys when they suddenly got too caught up in the intimacy or work thrown in their lives. She would knock on the door almost every Sunday night, a bottle of wine in her hand, and Michael would be scurrying around the kitchen, threatening Luke if he even stepped foot in there, because while the blond could bake pastries like his life depended on it, he was completely incapable of making a pot of rice without it becoming mush.

Things flowed smoothly, she would make sure Michael’s radermachera sinica was watered, and would praise Luke on the different deserts he would whip up in only a moments time. Michael thought about her a lot; it seemed that from the moment she stepped into the apartment when Luke was falling to shreds, she had started to build the blond up a bit, she babied him because he was hurt, but she kept him alive and well, and maybe that was the reason Michael and Luke were together, because she hadn’t left Luke, she had noticed him, noticed the quiet, the probable pain seeping through the walls of the flats, and Michael couldn’t help but hug her tightly when she would get ready to leave at night, and whisper a soft ‘thank you’ to which Greta would always respond with ‘don’t hurt him’ and Michael swore on his life that the last thing he would ever do was hurt Luke again.

And when they crawled into bed, only weeks before the wedding, and snuggled up close did Michael realise he took the chance to love someone who would always love him unconditionally and it hadn’t backfired, if anything, it was the best decision of his life.

 

_**fin** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go.
> 
> It's all over now.
> 
> Luke and Michael have finished their story, and oh my god my heart hurts, I don't want to leave my babies.
> 
> This was an exceptionally hard chapter to write because everything needed to come to a conclusion, and things were rushing so time jumps because I really wanted them to get married, whoa. Also, kids, yes yes yes, Luke and Michael as fathers is AMAZING and I really really thought that would suit the story line, but I don't know.
> 
> This was supposed to give an insight to Michael's mind about the present time and their future and I'm not sure if it came out exactly as I wanted it to.
> 
> (i accidentally deleted a huge portion of it last night and was unable to recover a majority of it as I am a simple minded idiot that doesn't know to shake an ipod to pull up Undo Typing, but now I know, and I am now dangerous)
> 
> I'm going to be starting Coffee & Mixtapes back up, chapter 3 is in the midst of being written, and then after that I'm up for prompts. I really want to write a long Lashton story, and I don't know if I will because I have no idea of a storyline and I really don't want it to be too angsty, so we'll see. You can talk to me on tumblr, hit me up with prompts or ideas. I might make a page or something along those lines for ideas and prompts submitted by you guys! 
> 
> Tumblr: @antisocialhood 
> 
> For now though, leave some feedback on what you thought of the chapter and/or the story overall. I love reading your opinions and thoughts and I think it makes me a better writer as you give me fresh perspectives to view the writing through.
> 
> Kudos if you enjoyed, no pressure though.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone that's read this! I can't thank you enough, and thank you to all that have commented and kudo-d, you don't understand how much I appreciate it all.
> 
> Have a wonderful day/night.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> x

**Author's Note:**

> Hey again!
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this, I just want to say that I tried to leave this a bit open to another chapter, just let me know if you want more or not, it's cool if you don't but it's cool if you do. I kinda have an idea if yes, so make sure to drop a yes or no.
> 
> Kudos are appreciated and comments are very very appreciated. 
> 
> I love knowing what you guys think. Also, there are probably spelling errors and other grammar issues, I'm a horrible writer when it comes to little details like that. But if you need any clarification on anything please don't hesitate to ask.
> 
> As always, feel free to communicate with me on here or tumblr @antisocialhood or egotistical-teenager. 
> 
> Hope everyone has a nice day/night/afternoon. 
> 
> Much love,
> 
> x


End file.
